“A soda machine?” Said Jeff aloud. It was an absurd thing to become. He didn’t want to puke soda cans through his mouth all day long. It sounded very uncomfortable. He kept scrolling and saw another option: ‘Drinking water fountain.’ Now, that could be interesting, specially if he selected his dick to be the faucet! Jeff laughed thinking of the possibilities: if he went to the park thirsty joggers would give him free blowjobs in public and nobody would freak out; he’d be considered by others as an inanimate object built for that purpose after all! And if Jeff were to become thirsty himself, he could just drink his own piss and...Wait, that’s actually quite a bit disgusting. It’d technically be water, but still...
“I like the idea of using my cock as a faucet, that would really get me off, but peeing water is quite boring...Oh! And if I were to shot a different sort of liquid?” Jeff scrolled back up to the ‘Soda machine’ option and ticked the box next to it, then he went back to the ‘Drinking water fountain’ option and selected it as well.
“You have selected ‘Drinking soda fountain’. Is that correct?” Spoke the Chronivac app through its text-to-speech capabilities.
Jeff was a freaking genius! A noob would have never figured out that you could choose multiple options to create new ones! With a smile on his face, Jeff clicked the ‘Next’ button and proceed with configuring the details of his transformation. The default option consisted in his mouth puking out random assortments of soda. Yuck. Jeff quickly changed it so his cock and balls would be the focus of the transformation. He checked once again that the ‘retain current form of the subject’ option was still active, so he’d gain his new soda-shooting powers without losing his human body. It’d suck real bad if he got turned into an actual inanimate machine forever.
“That should be enough.” Jeff clicked on the ‘Next’ button and was quite confused about the next step. “Reality Shift, uh...?” He read the description of this function. Apparently this feature could change reality so everybody would think the changes he did were completely normal and had always been this way. “In other words, nobody would freak out if I they saw me peeing soda out of my dick. Sounds reasonable.” Jeff turned the option on, but he added his own mind to the exception list. After all, if Jeff himself thought of his changes as normal, he wouldn’t be able to enjoy them! But just when he did it, a 3D animated pop-up character appeared on the screen. It looked like a blue ‘C’, not unlike the one on the Chronivac’s logo, but had cartoony eyes on it.
“Hey there!” Said the character in a rather annoying voice. “Seems like you’re trying to use the reality shift function whilst doing an inanimate change on your own body. Here’s some related tips on this subject...”
What the hell were the developers of the Chronivac thinking?! This talking turd was worse than Microsoft Office’s Clippy!
“...Remember that changing reality so you had always been an inanimate object may result in changes to your family’s genealogical tree, changes in your past level of education, the loss of your current job (if applicable), and most importantly...”
“Yeah sure.” Said Jeff clicking the red ‘X’ on top of the cartoon character, silencing his oh-so-helpful pieces of advice.
Jeff reviewed his selection one more time. He left the duration setting on the default option, which was ‘Undefined / Until the user cancels the changes’. And that was about it. Jeff’s rational mind was a little worried, what if this program was buggy or something? However his impatient cock was hard as a rock at the prospect of cumming soda. “What the hell, let’s do this!” Yelled Jeff and clicked ‘Initialize’.
“Well, that was anticlimactic.” Said Jeff looking at the slow-moving progress bar on his screen. “It’s been 10 minutes and it’s still sitting at 8%!” The boy sighed. “May as well get comfortable while this piece of bloatware finishes its job.” Jeff minimized the Chronivac and went on a tour of his favorite porn sites. His horny young cock didn’t take long to get fully hard. Mom and Dad weren’t still back home, so Jeff removed all of his clothes. He always felt so naughty and thrilled when naked. “I wonder if someone will mind if I go pantless outside when the changes are complete. I’d be doing community service as a drinking soda fountain hehehe.”
As usual Jeff lost the track of time as he jacked-off, he even forgot to check the progress on the Chronivac as he did.
“Damn! I’m so close!” Jeff was ready to climax, the boy feeling the familiar rush on his groin. But something felt different. The sperm on his balls felt extremely itchy and...bubbly? Jeff groaned and black and foamy liquid shot out from his cock. The boy smelled his fingers “It smells like...Coke!” It was hard to believe, but his jizz was now Coca-Cola! “It really worked! This is freaking awesome!” Said Jeff licking his lips. “I’m a walking soda fountain!”
There was still so much to try out, he wondered what beverage his piss was!
Jeff closed down all the porn, no need for them anymore. He opened up the Chronivac once again, just to check that everything had went fine. But what came up on the screen was very strange.
“What the...It’s just 60% done? But my dick already spews out Coke! What’s left to change?” Whatever, maybe it was just loading up additional flavours into his body. Jeff ignored it and went to the bathroom to wash his hands. It was really easy to clean them, Coke wasn’t as sticky and smelly as cum after all.
When Jeff was finished he didn’t know what to do next. It’d be awhile until the soda on his body ‘recharged’ so maybe he should get dressed, just in case his parents came back early. Jeff went out of the bathroom and in the way back to his room he saw something peculiar on the wall. The hallway was full of framed pictures of his family. One particular frame contained a black-and-white photograph of his serious-looking maternal grandfather on his late forties beside his wife.
But something weird was happening to that photo, it was...flickering. Jeff expected something like this from a computer screen but from a photo made decades ago? It was quite scary. Between the various flicks the image started to become blurry and morph into something else.
“What the fuck?!!” Exclaimed Jeff. There inside the frame stood the exact same black-and-white photo, his grandmother still looking classy as ever, but his grandfather had completely disappeared from the image. In his place a vending machine stood proudly next to its wife.
A *soda* vending machine.
“Holy shit! My grandfather’s a soda machine now?!”
Fearing the worst, Jeff hurried to check the other photos, but they seemed mostly the same...Except the one showing his paternal grandmother, which now showed a water fountain wearing a wedding dress.
“This is so freaky...I mean...How is that even possible?!”
Apparently the Chronivac had changed his genealogy so his soda fountain DNA would make some sort of genetical sense. His grandparents had married those two inanimate objects, his parents had been lucky enough to not inherit the inanimate genes, and now it was ‘logical’ that Jeff had the functions of an inanimate object.
“This is insane! I just wanted to have some fun with my dick and now the history of my family is all messed up!”
Jeff wondered if in this new reality there were more people with inanimate DNA like him, but there was no time to find out, he had to revert the changes!
However...