Cameron woke up in a cold sweat, but as he came to on his pillow he felt relieved almost immediately. What an awful, fucked up, perverted nightmare. Thank god it was just a nightmare.
He couldn't believe he had fallen asleep in his clothes. Cam sat up, feeling a little wobbly, and went into the bathroom, locking the door. Might as well take a shower and get going right away, he thought, but as he stripped off his shirt and dropped it on the floor he noticed he looked different in the mirror.
"Oh my god!" Cameron said, trying not to panic, his heart suddenly racing. He had to...(drink some beer, his mind suddenly flashed almost as a joke) this couldn't be real. No way.
Cameron sat down on the toilet, humiliated. He couldn't have a beer gut started, not this early. That couldn't have been real. He heard his stomach grumble, and suddenly he burped. There must be a way to undo this. He could stop eating, and work out until he worked it off-- the sooner the better, he thought.
Cameron didn't want to waste any time. He hurried up and showered off, disgusted by his new shape, but feeling pretty confident he could get within reason of where he was before (he hoped). He put on some shorts and started doing pushups almost frantically, anything to get going on working this off, not that his scrawny arms were capable of doing man. So he switched to situps, unbelievable that he had to look at the start of beer belly on himself and try to do situps. More like a root beer belly, he thought.
Then he switched back to pushups. There was a weight his dad bought him that he had always refused to use, but now was the perfect time, he thought, trying to lift it and feeling his arm and shoulders ache as he switched it between hands and did his best. After a few more pushups he collapsed, heaving and sweaty on his bed.
Cameron's muscles ached all over. How long did it take to burn off a beer belly? After a half hour he was starting to feel hungry and thirsty, but he knew he had better not eat anything til after he had burned it off. Maybe he could at least get something to drink. He padded downstairs and opened the fridge, thinking maybe Kool Aide (but sugar) or hell just water and then saw a six pack of his dad's Bud Lite in the corner. That shit that got me in trouble, he thought contemptuously.
Why anybody would want to drink something as gross as beer -- it just made no sense to him.
He pulled up the six pack just to see what was in it anyhow, maybe that could help him figure out how to work this off. Or was it the same beer, the same kind? They made so many different kinds -- stupid mainstream dumbasses into their tv and sports bullshit culture, he figured, what a waste.
'Water, barley malt, dextrose syrup, rice, hop extract,' on and on... Cameron wasn't sure he could figure out exactly what the problem had been caused by, there were just so many ingredients listed. He popped a tab to take a smell of it. It smelled bad, kind of pissy but not so bad maybe, it had a certain warmth to it. Cameron remembered how gross it had tasted last night. Did his dad's beer taste as gross?
He kind of wanted to take a little sip just to see, I mean he was already stuck with the start of a beer gut so it wouldn't hurt to take just one sip to help figure out what they had done to him. Cameron took a very small sip, barely able to taste it. "That's not even how guys drink," he told himself. If he took a real sip it still wouldn't be much beer at all. Cameron sipped it again, and wasn't sure if that was still a real sip like a regular guy would do so took another big swig just to be safe. He'd have to work it off again but he needed to know.
Ok, maybe beer didn't taste so bad he though, but still, why would you want to do that to your brain? Everybody knows it kills brain cells.
Cameron figured he had better just put the can down the drain, but didn't want it to smell up the drain either. Maybe he could flush it down the toilet. Or even just drink it, maybe he should chug it to see why guys got into that as long as he had come this far. So stupid that they chug beers like that, but he had to admit he was kind of curious about why anybody could possibly think that's fun.