The alarm began blaring. Groggily I rolled over to shut it off and go back to sleep. I glanced at the time, why I don't know, its not like I cared. The clock read 7:30. I collapsed peacefully back onto my pillow, wondering why my alarm was set in the first place. A second later my muscles tightened and I sat up. "That's weird", I mumbled to myself. Taking a second to catch my bearings from the hangover. A few seconds later I was on my way to the bathroom, wondering why I wasn't still in bed. "Eh, my body must know something I don't."
I took a leak, and a moment to admire myself in the mirror. Not to brag but I am handsome. Oddly enough I didn't realize how handsome until today. Even looking like hell from the... 8... lets go with 8+ shots, I still look damn good. Now back to bed... Oop, no. My hand reached down to flush... "Good catch, subconscious" Now back to bed... Oop, no, time to wash my hands... and brush my teeth?
By the time I found myself stripping and jumping into the shower, I new something weird was going on... After I got out of the shower and got dressed rather than returning to the sweet beaconing bosom of the bed I was beginning to feel panicked... which mind you, is really hard to do when your biochemistry is not working with you.
After going downstairs and preparing a light breakfast which consisted of eggs, wheat toast (yuck), some greek yogurt, sausage, and fruit, instead of my fruity pebbles, I was screaming in my head.
"Ahh, Good morning son." dad called as he entered the room, He looked like he didn't get any sleep. My body had an emotional response to this making me feel guilty and embarrassed, but it didn't respond to me being trapped in my own autonomous body.
'DAD, HELP, I'm not in control of my body!' which came out, "Good morning Dad. I would like your assistance if you have time."
"Of course son, I'm very busy but I will always make time for you, I want you to know that. Now, what do you need my assistance with?"
"I'm experiencing a disconnect between what I want to do and what I actually do.", my body answered on its own. A wave of relief washed over me.
"Well, what do you want to do?", dad asked.
"Sleep", my body answered truthfully.
"No son, I meant bigger, with your life, what do you want to do?"
"Well, I have never really thought that I'd need a job because you're rich, I really like partying and having fun." Again, the response was truthful to a fault.
Dads, face twisted with disgust, but he maintained his composure. "Everyone likes having fun, but if I had all the fun I wanted, I wouldn't be rich... Life has a tendency to throw surprises at you and having a cushion to fall back on is very valuable. I don't trust your decision making skills any more, therefore you are cut off from my funds except for your most basic of needs, a roof over your head, some food, and some clothes. No fun money until you regain my trust. And as for a job at my company, you need a college degree to walk in the door, so that is out of the question. So what will you do to reach your goal of having fun?"
My mind was flooded with nasty things to say and it was trying to think of a way to spite him, to show him that I didn't need him. "I will..." my body paused waiting for a true answer to formulate in my brain. "go to school and get a degree, then I can work at your company after you forgive me."
DAMN IT, Fucking honesty... SHIT.. FUCK
Dad just smiled and looked pleasantly bemused. "I am actually willing to support that decision. Summer classes will begin next week at the community college. I would encourage you to apply and register now, I will stop by later tonight to pay for the classes."
"I will do that.." What is this feeling of endearment washing over me? He just fucked up my summer and is sending me to community college rather than the party school I selected! "Thank you for supporting my goals."
"Of course son, I want what is best for you. I want you to grow as a person, to have skills, and insight, and an appreciation of the value of your family, and our wealth. Anyone can party their life away, but you deserve more." He turned to walk away.
"Oh Dad, Though I feel that we have reconnected to some extent," There's that fucking honesty again. "this actually wasn't quite where I intended for this conversation to go. If you have another moment or two, I feel the urgent need to express that I'm not in control of what I do or say, and being in that situation is causing me great distress."
Dad turned around and looked sad, "I know son. You have taken for granted all the freedoms you had. You laughed when I threatened to deny you access to my wealth, and have disrespected my house, my expectations, and my trust, time and time again. I believe you can be a good person, and I love you, but I don't think you feel the same about yourself, so I will show you what you can accomplish. From now on you will be completely honest with me. You will only have 0.5% control of yourself. Currently that limits you to slight guidance over your conversation topics. Each day you can regain, or further lose control over your body based on the choices you make. Fail too many times consecutively and aspects of your personality will simply be overwritten. Life is full of choices, and you have continuously made bad ones. I will get you onto the right track one way or another."
"Wow" my body responded, not that I would have said anything different. After a moment, "Have you considered the moral implications?" I calmly asked. I was trying to scream 'That's not fair and this is wrong!' but my body doesn't seem nearly as upset as I am...
Dad inhaled deeply and sighed slowly, apparently he was working to remain as calm as my body, "Yes, I have. And I am willing to agree that this is morally questionable. But allow me to make a few points. I acknowledge that I am forcing your actions, in a very direct manner. And this is what you see as immoral, correct?"
My brain went a few places but ultimately it all circled back to my lack of self control. "Yes", my body replied for me once I had decided.
"Tell me this," Dad asked, "have you had sex?"
"Yes," I responded without hesitation.
"Multiple times?" he probed
"Yes."
"With women?"
"Yes." Normally I would feel pride but for some reason my body was filling with shame.
"With Men?"
"No."
"And you used protection each and every time?"
"No."
"And you know where babies come from?"
"Yes."
"So you had a plan on how to support the mother and a child if she got pregnant?"
"No."
"But you were willing to take the necessary actions to take care of a child yourself?"
"No."
"So, If a child came, as a result of your actions, you would rely on your mother and I to support you, the child, and probably the mother as well."
"Yes."
"Do you see how I am able to justify this decision morally based on your history of choices?"
"Yes"
"You have shown me that you are willing to force my hand for years to come without a second thought. You can be done with this in under a year. It will be over when you become more responsible and can take care of yourself."
Dad walked away, leaving me to contemplate how this is all going to work. From the other room he called, "Oh, by the way, I have made you Bi. I have heard you call me fag to your friends on your cell phone. You are now just as likely to find a guy attractive as a girl, lets see how you like trying to deny who you are to maintain appearances. You can go back to straight when this is done."