There was a tense moment as he stared at Eric and the others, then, it broke. Benton sighs softly, looking up at the ceiling. The tension in his shoulders and muscles growing more lax as pinpricks of tears formed at the edges of his eyes but he blinked them back. Akane noticed the involuntary gesture. Even in human form, a true blooded were's instincts were hard to ignore and while it would appear Benton was merely staring up at the ceiling to collect his thoughts, the baring of the throat was an instinctive gesture of submission, particularly amongst felines and canines. Benton himself probably didn't even notice.
Finally, Benton looked back at Eric and stated, "What I say now, I do not say as an excuse. You wanted an explaination. This is the best I can do because a lot of it I don't truly know myself but I know it does not excuse any of my actions." He took a breath, "My father was a different man. To the community, he was generous and kind. To most of his family the same. To my little brother, a doting but not spoiling father. To me, he was my idol... and at times my nightmare. After learning what I have about my own condition - " He pauses and looks down at his hand where it was fondling the bottle in his jacket pocket, "I imagine he suffered from the same condition. They say Bi-Polar Disorder runs in familys. Anyway, he pushed me insanely hard. I was the oldest son, I was expected to be like him. And by the gods, I tried. The Knight's help build this town and I would make sure no one ever forgot that. I would build something that would cement my above all the other Knights. I guess ultimately I wanted to make something that even my father couldn't ignore."
Benton shakes his head, "Again these are not excuses, but just thoughts that I have been having since all this started. I've almost alienated my daughter. My wife almost died. My servants who I was fairly dependent on at the time walked out." At this a tear did manage to just barely leak out the corner of one eye, "And I was facing not the THREAT of the were-council. Not the dreams. But everything I truly loved being gone and the possibility that the LAST thing that was mine, truly mine, was slipping out of my grasp --- my own mind. You have no idea how frightening that concept was. Devoid of family. Lost in that darkness living in a cage. NOTHING. And I mean NOTHING could possibly compare to that reality."
Benton fell silent a moment before saying, "You know, my father was responsible for the seat on the were-concil for were-panthers. The were-leopards fought for many years to keep the were-panthers from gaining a seat because technically we're the same species. The scientists call us 'Melanistic Leopards' even. He left a lasting mark on this community that he could be uniquely known for. What the hell kinda legacy will I leave now? I hated Daisuke... so much cause he was just like my brother. Someone else better than me I couldn't beat. Yet again. Again."
It seemed like once Benton started the words just kept spilling out. The stress of all the last few weeks just being too much. It didn't matter that Akane was his 'enemy'. It didn't matter. Pressure cap had been pried loose and all the steam was escaping. Leaving a very tired, very sad, and very weary looking were-panther sitting there. Benton hadn't even realized he had shifted but it was a reflex instinct of self-preservation and not at all hostile. He was drawn inward and still struggling with the depressed emotion. The insecurity. The depression. The pain. It was all very evident and very obviously the source of much of his anger issues.
Eric just stood there, unsure what to say as he put an arm around Freida who was almost crying herself. She couldn't stand to see her father like this. It had seemed like such an honest and easy question to answer. She wasn't expecting... this.