"Good, I finally ditched Mom," thought Alyssa to herself as she glanced over her shoulder. Her mother's back was to her, gazing in the window of Victoria's Secret, shaking her head at the mannequins. Alyssa gave one last teenaged eye-roll as she glanced at her mom's pronounced butt in her high-rise jeans before disappearing into the door of the strange clothing store.
It was a week before Alyssa's first year of high school, and so her mother had offered to take her clothes shopping. Everything had gone great for the first half of the day, until Alyssa's mom had decided her daughter also needed help buying underwear. Alyssa had blushed and protested, saying she was old enough to do THAT on her own, but her mother had ignored her and insisted.
"Honey, trust me - you'll need to be careful about what you wear, especially with some of these tight pants..." he mother said in a sagely tone.
"Mom!" Alyssa had said in a sharp whisper, glancing around the crowded JC Penney's. She had determined to ditch her mom and buy underwear on her own, then "lose" the receipt before finding her mom. And this clothing store looked perfect. It was cluttered, giving Alyssa plenty of places to hide from view, but the dummies in the windows wore trendy-looking yet intriguingly funky garments.
Alyssa walked slowly around the aisles until she came to the underwear section in the back. She was a bit disappointed at what she saw. First of all, they made no distinction between men's and women's underwear. "Kind of weird," Alyssa thought as she brushed her fingers over a pair of men's microfiber briefs, then a lacy thong, then a pair of boys' Spiderman underwear. "It's like a thrift store or something." The women's options were all a bit too... out there. Plenty of lingerie, which wouldn't be comfortable at school, and a surprising amount of juniors' options - white cotton, princess briefs, cutesy strawberry prints.
Alyssa was about to sneak over to Victoria's Secret when a pack of underwear on the ground caught her eye. She squatted down and picked them up. "Underwear For Everyone" was printed on the top of the package, and then under that in smaller writing, "Variety Pack, Sizes Vary."
"Huh," Alyssa thought, a little intrigued. She had never heard of a package of underwear having different sizes... maybe it was a grab-bag sort of deal? Through the clear parts of the packaging, she could see purple lace, a thick elastic waistband, something satin, and something that HAD to be part of a thong. She flipped them over and read the description on the back:
"Tired of your boring old underwear? Then 'Underwear for Everyone' is for you! Inside each variety pack, you'll find a hand-picked selection of seven of our finest underwear, guaranteed to spice things up. No more boring underwear experiences!"
"What a weird thing," Alyssa thought. The price tag said $9, and for 7 paris of underwear, that sounded like a good deal. Plus, she was fairly certain this would get her mom off of her case. She quickly went to the registered and paid, intentionally leaving the receipt on the counter.
She caught up with her mom near the food court.
"There you are!" her mother said, exasperated.
"Sorry Mom, I saw a cool store and found some underwear. See?" Alyssa said hurriedly, hoping to get this over with and get home. Her mother took the package of underwear and read the description, brow furrowed.
"Well, I wish you'd have consulted me first," her mother said, handing them back, "but I guess those'll work. Come on, let's get home."
"All according to plan," Alyssa thought as they drove home. She bolted up to her room as soon as they arrived, eager to try on her new outfits. After about a half an hour later saw Alyssa standing in front of her mirror in nothing but her plain white panties and cotton bra. Her newly purchased clothes were piled at the foot of her bed after having been tried on. All that remained was the mysterious pack of underwear.
She tore open the plastic and shook her head in confusion as she laid out the seven pairs of underwear.
"What the hell?" Was all she could say as she looked at the selection.
The purple lace belonged to a pair of purple and black striped boy-shorts with the symbol for "female" printed on the crotch. Printed inside the waistband were the words "Females Only Collection."
Next was a thong. Alyssa owned a few thongs already, which she picked up in the 8th grade while shopping with some of her friends. She rarely wore them, being a little timid, but enjoyed how grown-up they made her feel. But THIS was something else entirely. The thong laying on her bed was hot pink and see-through in the crotch with lace all over. It looked like something a lingerie model would wear. Printed on the inside were the words "Naughty Girl Collection."
Third were the satin briefs, another mystery. Sure, the package had said "sizes vary," but this was ridiculous! The panties were dark grey and high-cut, like something her mother would wear. In fact, they looked to be about her mother's size, maybe even a little bigger. Alyssa doubted they would even stay up on her narrow hips if she tried to wear them. On the inside of the waistband were the words "Mothers Plus Collection."
Next was a pair of plain white briefs, not unlike the ones Alyssa was currently wearing. The main difference was that these were made of a little thicker cotton, especially in the crotch. They said "Childhood Revisited Collection" on the inside.
Fifth in line were a pair of regular briefs, deep blue in color, with a ruche down the butt. They looked fairly normal, though Alyssa noticed they were very stretchy, and bore the words "Bootylicious Collection" on the inside.
Next to last was a string bikini made of cotton, with a thick, sturdy waistband and the words "World Traveler's Collection" on the inside of the waistband. On the outside of the waistband, right in the back, there as a small dial with and arrow, and country names written around it. The countries included USA, Japan, Mexico, France, Ethiopia, and a few others.
Lastly was the biggest oddball. Alyssa almost snickered when she laid it out, as it had to have been the result of some catastrophic sorting failure. Sitting on the bed in front of her was something she'd only heard rumors and jokes about - a men's jockstrap. She'd never seen one before, and it seemed like such a ridiculous garment, with its pouch in the front, super-thick waistband, and twin straps connecting the crotch to the sides. It had the words "Sportsmen's Collection" printed on the inside.
"Well, which should I try on first?" Alyssa thought...