Tony was starting to like this game more and more. The first card had been a bit weird, but Tony had long ago picked up the ability to deflect discomfort into jokes. He wasn't particularly pleased with the emphasis on his ass, particularly since he already was the biggest brother, but now that his dad and Steven had suffered some surprising effects he figured it might finally be time for his comeuppance. The two of them had a unnervingly annoying habit of talking down to him, and rubbing it in his face that he didn't have his life together. Dad had always been harder on Tony, bugging him about his grades and, most recently, his weight, and Steve could just be so damn smug about his perfect academics and law career. Tony cast an eye over the two of them now before picking another card. It was impossible to recognize either of them - Steve looked like a goddamn apeman they might keep as a sideshow at the circus, and Dad was sitting back in the chair looking like a beached whale.
Tony read his card aloud: "'Attribute: Take after your father [40]' - what's that supposed to mean, do I get to skip Steven in the next round now?" He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, still getting used to the extra cushioning from his last card.
Ever competitive, Steven was broken out of his own thoughts about how his boss would deal with his unprofessional look by the concept of getting skipped in the game. "What? I don't think so, it's supposed to go by age. I wish this thing came with some clearer instructions..." He grabbed the box again to read over it one more time despite practically already knowing the sole, slim paragraph on the back by heart. "What would be useful is a list of the possible cards so we know what to expect..."
"You always were more like your mother, Tony." Dan said sort of wistfully. "You have that same sort of go-with-the-flow attitude she had. I wish some of my discipline could have rubbed off on you, though, you could have used it."
Tony bristled at the mention of his mother and the fact that his father was STILL condescending towards him even after putting on close to 200 pounds in a matter of minutes. Tony leaned over to pat his father's enormous gut a little more forcefully than would be typically expected and said, "Well, what discipline would that be, Dad? The one that got you looking like you've been living in a buffet the last 5 years? I think I'm doing alright for myself."
"This is what I'm talking about, you've always had that mouth on you-"
"Wait a second, Tony, what's going on with your hair?" Jeff cut in.
"What, what do you mean?" Tony asked, his hand immediately flying up to brush through his normally lush locks. He looked in horror as he came out holding a thick bundle of hair.
Dan and Steven immediately started laughing at the predicament: "Damn, son, I knew you'd eventually get the family curse of male-pattern balding, but I never thought it would be this young! I didn't start balding until I was halfway into my thirties!"
Even Steven was howling in laughter at Tony's predicament, "Well, I guess this makes more sense now: I found the hair that you're losing!"
Tony, furious to somehow STILL be getting the short end of the stick, stormed out of the room to the bathroom to assess the damage to his hair. He noticed with some additional embarrassment that the additional weight in his backside forced him to waddle slightly.
Locking the door to the bathroom, Tony looked in the mirror. Somehow, seeing his sparsely covered head was even more distressing than just feeling it - it made the reality of the situation start to sink in. As he rubbed his new chrome dome and whimpered slightly at the loss of his good looks, his eyes drifted down to the rest of his face. Something seemed.... different. Suddenly it dawned on him that it wasn't just his fathers balding head he'd inherited - he was also getting wrinkles! In only the matter of minutes since he'd drawn his card he looked like he'd aged from 23 to 43!
As he rubbed the wrinkles around his mouth and eyes he heard his stomach rumble.
"Oh, please no," he muttered, hoping that didn't mean what he thought it would.
His stomach rumbled again, and quickly began to expand out from the bottom of his shirt. His shorts, already stretched to the limit from his overengorged ass, ripped right down the middle as each wobbling cheek broke free and continued to grow. Tony even watched as his fingers each plumped up to more closely resemble greasy sausages. He whimpered slightly as he cupped each growing breast that hung from his chest.
When the growth stopped, Tony turned slightly to examine the full view of his new body. He looked neither quite as big nor quite as old as his father, but now he could pass far more easily as Dan's younger brother than as his son. His bulky ass still came out as the dominant body part, but now instead of a modest college beergut it was counterbalanced but a full on flabby belly. Tony gulped once to himself, before shuddering and unlocking the bathroom door to return to the living room.
"Hey! Looks like two-ton Tony is back and bigger than ever!" Jeff said as Tony lumbered back into the room. Tony merely grunted his acknowledgement of the comment as he struggled to lower himself down onto his chair which groaned ominously. Patting his stomach, he said, "I wouldn't get too cocky, buddy. You're up next."