A newscast flashed on the TV...
Attention citizens! Beware of strange packages in the mail from a company known as "Bae".
These boxes arrive with no labels, no warning, but it all ends the same way. A device within the box transforms men and women into attractive college age girls. The change happens in stages.
Stage 1: The device clamps a pair of headphones over the victim's ears.
Stage 2: A brace is clamped over the lower jaw and an intense tone fills the victim's ears, tapping into a neural pattern that enables total mental take over.
Stage 3: The transformation begins.
For women, this means modified height, increased breast size, enlarged buttocks, and total mental reprogramming.
For men, it is a different story. All muscle mass is lost, height decreased by up to one foot, the shift from male to female organs including breast growth and loss of male genitals, and the aforementioned mental reformating.
This mental reformating is the final stage, with which the victim's mind is erased completely and hardwired to follow a program within the device known simply as "Bae". This makes the victim actively seek to attach devices to other victims, and have a desire for other women over men. Personality wise, it varies from "goth" to "ditzy bimbo" to "shy nerd" and so on, all serving a purpose in some sort of hive mind.
Monitor your mail carefully, and be wary of unmarked packages.
As the report ends, there's a ring at the door. You are..