"Hello? Ew, this place right stinks. I'm here to get a service dog," says a woman with dark glasses and a white cane entering the men's room.
"Hey, lady, you're in the men's room!" you shout. Hastily, you shake dry and pull up your zipper.
"Here, boy!" says the woman. "They said I shouldn't have any problem finding him." She holds a leather dog lead and harness in her other hand.
"Ma'am, you're in the wrong place!" you shout.
"Hm, damn hearing aid on the fritz again," she mutters walking toward you.
"No, lady, you are in the-" you speak loudly and slowly, but she seems oblivious. The harness touches you, and you find yourself compelled to all four. Yuck, your bare hands are the sticky disgusting linoleum floor of the carnival men's room.
"Arf! ARF! Arf?" you say.
"Ah, good boy, I found you," she says.
You are helpless. You're sprouting hair everywhere, and your clothing has vanished. She expertly puts you in the collar and harness, and you lead her out of the men's room trailer and down the metal steps. You want to rejoin your friends, but you have a duty now. Damn, you struggle with the concept that you're a human being, but you know you're a service dog, and you have to take care of this blind and deaf old woman.
"Ah, I see you found a dog to your liking, Mrs. Hoopla," says a man with a heavy accent, "Signor Stromboli aims to please. Now there's the matter of the fee."
"Oh, but I already gave you a check?" she says uncertainly.
You don't like this greasy carni, and bare your teeth at him and growl softly. He steps back uncertainly.
"Call off your dog, I don't want any trouble," Stromboli says.
"There, there, boy, did that mean man scare you?"
"Mean man scare him?" Stromboli shakes his head.
"Hey, boss, I can't get any volunteers for my magic show," whines a short man in a sequined gypsy costume with a blue and yellow cape.
"Mrs. Hoopla, in lieu of additional payment would you be kind enough to accompany the Great Romano to assist him with his magic act?"
"The name is Hooper, not Hoopla, but I've always wanted to be a Magician's assistant! Do I get to wear a feather boa?"
The Great Romano shrugs, and says, "We'll see what we can do?"
He takes her by the arm, and you in harness accompany the two to the tent on the midway advertising the Magic Show. You notice your buddies are in line for that show.