“After we analyzed the footage of the vanished car, we've officially ruled out all other possibilities. This bizarre incident undoubtedly is the product of supernatural influence, and it is likely related to the quote unquote “Great Change” and other ancillary incidents. Mr...sorry, force of habit...Madam President” said the new woman security advisor, “we need to summon the Annunaki. You don't need to be directly involved, but in accordance with policy, we need to ask your explicit permission and have you sign off on it before we proceed with the ritual.”
The President, who now looked strikingly like Beyonce, nodded with grim understanding. “Granted” she said, as she signed the secret executive order. “While you're at it, could you ask our friends in the spirit world to make sure Drumpf doesn't win the election? It's one thing to say that you want to ban all Muslims from the country, but now she's making inferrences about euthanizing born women who didn't choose to remain young and beautiful.”
“We'll try, ma'am. We have our best occ-ops negotiators handling this. As a politician, you know all about diplomacy. Dealing with gods and cosmic beings isn't very different from dealing with leaders of hostile foreign nations, except for the fact that they can occasionally turn you into a toad” added the advisor sheepishly, checking to see if any gum was on the bottom of her new shoes.
“It's a good thing that we don't need approval from Congress” laughed the President in a richly feminine, friendly voice. It still carried all the charm of her former male speaking voice. “I bet that if Cthulhu himself were rising out of the Atlantic Ocean, ready to drive the world into madness, those bastards would still obstruct a bill to stop it.”
The security advisor nodded in agreement, her sensible ponytail bobbing up and down behind her. “Unfortunately, ma'am, I think you're right. That's the biggest reason these things need to be kept on the down low. Civilians think that we're the bad guys because we keep information from them, but what we're really doing is protecting them from short-sighted people who can't see the bigger picture like the bought and paid for idiots in Congress. God, can you imagine if Drumpf knew about this?”
The President shook her head thusly. “I can only imagine what that crazy woman would do”.
**
A movie had come out in 2012 called “The Cabin In The Woods”, which posited that the governments of the world all colluded with one another to placate and appease the dark, evil gods that dwell beneath the earth. Surpringly, the movie was half right that the governments of the world WERE aware of the supernatural and WERE colluding with one another to keep it all under wraps. Thankfully, the movie was also half wrong, because the government, corrupt and venal as it may be, wasn't actually engaging in ritualistic sacrifice, largely because they didn't need to. The gods and spirits of the netherworld in general were much more benevolent and dare I say, human, than pop culture and religion has led us to believe throughout the centuries. Many of them are assholes, and some DO want to destroy us and drink our sanity through a crazy straw, but those ones are generally kept at bay by the Sorcerer/Sorceress Supreme.
While the entire colorful history of this subject cannot nearly be described in such a short amount of space, one of the most reliable avenues of interaction between humans and the divine have been with the pantheon of ancient Sumerian deities, worshipped by the ancient peoples of Mesopotamia. They are called the Annunaki.
The Occ-Op team, led by the chief negotiator and alchemist Seth Tullio, now going by Savannah Tullio, had made contact with the Sumerian goddess Innanna within two hours of the President's executive order. The summoning circle glowed a supernatural shade of brightest green, and the goddess appeared in all of her stately divinity in front of the team of jaded professionals. Savannah asked about the events behind The Great Change, to which the goddess replied:
“I gave a ring of great power to a young boy named Joe D'Amico. In his perversions, he lost the ring to someone he tried to exploit.”
“Is this the ring of power that Gyges of Lydia once owned, according to legend?” asked the redheaded beauty Tullio.
Innanna nodded. “The same.”
“Where is the person who currently possesses the ring?”
“On Earth.”
“Could you please be more specific?” begged Tullio. “As you can tell, I've changed significantly the last time since we met, and I'd like to go back to being to provide for my family.”
“What part of being a woman makes you unable to provide for your family?”
“It's kind of hard to carry authority when you look and sound like Amy Adams.”
“Perhaps this Great Change is a blow to your fragile male ego, but from my point of view, things are more fun the way they are now” Innanna smiled.
“There's nothing wrong with being a woman” said Savannah. “I just don't prefer it. I miss my old body, and so do many other people. Millions, in fact.”
“Seeing a world full of women is a joy to behold. So much grace. So much beauty. I marvel at watching this world better than the old one I helped create. I want it to exist for as long as possible.”
Tullio sighed. Innanna was being difficult again.
The conversation lasted for over an hour, and Tullio managed to get precious little out of it, except for the intel about this Joe character and his psychologist, which all in all was actually great intel. Savannah's team would probably find the headshrinker within a few days. Tullio had also acquired Innanna's promise thar Drumpf would not win the next presidential election.
“I assure you, Drumpf will not win. I've seen other realities where that has happened, and it's not pretty.”
“That's not good enough, I need something substantial” pleaded Tullio once more.
Innanna gazed upon Savannah Tullio with peaceful eyes.
“It is finished” Innanna said.
“What?”
“You'll see”.
And then the eldritch light was gone. Savannah spoke into her walkie talkie. The area needed to be cleared in time for the next occ-ops project, which was due to launch in an hour: Raising the dead. People in R&D wanted to see if the dead, once resurrected, would react transformationally to the Great Change. If neanderthals frozen in ice transformed into females(Female what? Neanderthals or homo sapians?), or if an ancient mummy of a woman regained her lost youth.
**
Innanna was a goddess. Her person was not limited to one area of space or time at once.
While she was talking to those silly occultist types who work for the government, Innanna was also talking with the latest mortal to possess the Ring of Gyges: Greta Von Hauser. She decided to appear in her old woman form, as per tradition.
“Well, that took you long enough!”
“I...I have a lot of questions” Greta stuttered nervously as Jean's mouth dropped.
“Sure you do!” quipped Innanna as she cackled. “And I have plenty of answers. But before you ask, I have just one thing to tell you. You see, I am currently hosting a competition. A friendly test of strength between two lovely young women. Actually, they want to be a team! A dynamic duo is you will! Normally there's only one Sorceress Supreme, but they are stubborn young ladies. I gave them one final test to prove their mettle.”
“Uh...I don't know what to say” gulped Greta.
“You see, in order to wield the power of the gods and the primal forces of the multiverse and all its inhabitants...the two young ladies must strip of your ring. In a battle. You must defend yourself and they must fight you, in order to see whether they can outsmart true omnipotence. Only then will they be worthy. You have one day to prepare.”
**