“No need to fear, my princess, as I shall now slay the evil dragon and make peace return to our land!” Said the warrior in shining armor.
“WUAHAHAHA! Your puny human weaponry is no use against my thick dragon skin!” Growled the fierce creature.
“We’ll see about that! Aiiiiya!” Cried the warrior impaling a golden sword in the dragon’s belly.
“Noooo! Where did you find the legendary Golden Scimitar?” Cried the dragon in pain. “I’ve been...slain!” It fell backwards dramatically.
“You did it! You’re our hero!” Said the princess hugging the warrior. “But I wonder, how did you know its weakness?”
The warrior removed his helmet. “Well...That’s because...”
“There’s something you should know!
And I’m gonna tell you so!
I’ve got 99 problems, believe it, yo!
slayin’ a dragon ain’t one, so,
you people, enjoy the show!”
Sang the warrior as various villagers started breakdancing in the background.
“Oh...Dear god...” Murmured Edgar from the sidelines. “Who the hell wrote this crap?”
Edgar Brown was a biology teacher, maybe that’s why he just couldn’t appreciate modern theatrical plays. He had agreed to help out with the drama club’s play with a small non-speaking role in the final act as no other student auditioned for it. But he forgot this meant having to sit down through the extremely dreadful act 1 and the song-filled act 2.
Finally the second act finished and it was almost time for Edgar’s brief appearance in the spotlight.
Edgar played the fat old king whose royal treasure had been stolen by that pathetically lame high-schooler dressed in a dragon costume. He had no lines to remember, and his natural chubby gut meant he didn’t have to put on any stuffing under his costume, which the drama teacher had considered a plus much to his annoyance.
He put on his fake white beard and wrapped himself in a red fluffy coat. He was still wearing his street clothes under it, so it felt quite hot. Edgar hoped his sweat wouldn’t become too apparent to the audience. Oh, well, it’s just a high schooler show made for a fundraising. The audience consisted mostly of the friends and families of the students, so they won’t be very picky with his performance.
The curtain rose, the stage background that of the inside of a medieval castle. On the center there was a throne where Edgar was seated in his king costume.
The snotty teen dressed as the warrior in shining armor and the nerdy princess entered from the left. The warrior was carrying an expensive-looking golden crown.
“Wow, I wonder where did the drama club get hold of that prop.” Thought Edgar. “It looks expensive...Is it real gold? Nah, it surely can’t be.”
The warrior kneeled in front of Edgar. “Thank you for letting me marry your daughter, oh my king. Here’s the royal crown the dragon had stolen from you. As a token of gratitude, let me put it on you personally, its rightful owner...”
Supposedly, after the warrior had put the crown on the king’s head dancers would’ve come from both sides of the stage for the high school musical’s final song, “Long Live Our Great King”.
However, things wouldn’t go according to plan.
The king smiled on his throne as the warrior went behind it and slowly lowered the golden crown on Edgar’s head.
The crown weighed a ton. Wow, it really was made of solid materials. Edgar continued to smile nervously.
Suddenly, the biology teacher felt a tug on his head as if the crown had shrunk dramatically in half a second.
Then, a thunderous voice growled from depth inside Edgar’s mind. It was a fierceful, deep voice belonging to a powerful outside power.
“ANOTHER KING OF LIARS?! YOU DARE TO WEAR ME, THE CROWN OF COMMAND, DRESSED IN NOTHING BUT EVIL DEEDS AND FAKERY?! FOOL!”
“THEREFORE I CURSE THEE; IF YOU INSIST ON BEING COVERED UP IN LIES, NOT A SINGLE THREAD OF CLOTH WILL EVER BE ABLE TO COVER UP EVEN A SINGLE INCH OF YOUR MISERABLE BODY FOR THE REST OF ITS EXISTENCE, NO MATTER YOU’RE ALIVE OR CENTURIES HAVE PASSED AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN SEPULTATED IN YOUR GRAVE.”
“LEST THIS BE A BENDITION TO YOU O FALSE KING, AS THIS HUMBLING LIFE WILL FINALLY LET EVERYONE SEE YOU AS YOUR TRUE SELF.”
Edgar could hear a few gasps and screams emanating from the audience. He thought they were just as surprised as he was at the sudden loud voice emanating from nowhere, but nobody else had heard anything.
Oh, but the audience could certainly SEE everything...
Edgar suddenly didn’t feel nearly as warm as before. He looked down and was shocked to find himself face-to-face with his huge hairy gut.
The naked fake king jumped in surprise, which startled the audience even more when they saw his floppy ballsack bouncing around.
“Oh shit, he’s naked!”
“Is this part of the script?”
“Look ma, he’s hairy everywhere! And he has titties like you!”
“Oh god, I’d never expected today's Mr. Edgar's lesson would teach us how a uncircumcised cock looks like!
Edgar screamed like a little girl and covered his manhood. Then he turned around and everybody got a good luck at his hairy buttcheeks, which were shivering from the cold.
“Now he’s mooning us!”
“Wow he’s so...fat!”
“Is this demented man really responsible for the education of our children?!”
Edgar had to think, and fast! He had to say something to save face!
“Err...” Edgar turned around. “Don’t worry folks, it’s part of the script...”
The crown tugged at his head once again.
“LIES!”
As the crown growled one more time, Edgar felt an extreme blush of blood coming straight to his cock, as if the crown wanted to expose him even more.
“You have to believe me...I’m telling the truth!” The fact that Edgar was on the verge on tears as he said this made everyone doubt him.
“LIES!!!”
Edgar’s hands went behind his head, manipulated by some unseen force. The audience was now even more shocked. Edgar’s penis was fully erected, his glans coming out from his foreskin.
“This is turning him on!”
“Look, it’s small even when hard!”
One of the other teachers alerted the security guards.
“No! I haven’t done anything wrong!” Cried Edgar.
“LIES!!!!!” Judged the crown once more. This time it made Edgar thrust his hips forward, his small cock about to erupt all over the audience.
It had to be the crown! Edgar yanked it off his head and threw it over the audience. There was so much commotion among the public that Edgar couldn’t clearly see if anybody caught the golden ornament.
Edgar was free from the crown... However, he was still naked on the stage with a raging hardon. He saw the security guards coming closer, so pathetically he decided to take a run for it.
Edgar ran as fast as he could towards the backdoor and managed to go to the school’s parking. The hairy middle-aged streaker ran towards his convertible sports car. In a strange twist of good luck, the forgetful teacher had left his keys on the ignition earlier that afternoon.
Getting back to his apartment had took much longer than usual. He had avoided all the busy roads on the way home, but he still got a few whistles and catcalls from strangers. Thank goodness none of them called the police.
The sweaty naked teacher plopped into his bed, tired from all the emotions he had felt. He thought about covering up in the bedcovers, but part of him feared that the bedcovers would vanish into thin air just like his clothes had done on the stage.
How would he explain this to the school? Could he even go anywhere near it naked as the day he was born? Nobody would believe he was cursed to be permanently butt naked because of magic.
The curse... The key to it must be the crown. Dang it! Why had he thrown it away? He had to search for it and recover it somehow! But, that meant going back inside the school...