As you approach the crooked house, you hear a familiar childhood tune. It's that old nursery rhyme Nick-Nack-Paddy-Whack, this old man he played one, he played Nick-Nack on his thumb, with a Nick-Nack-Paddy-Whack give a dog a bone, this old man comes rolling home. And there he was a man all crooked with arthritis came around the bend whistling the tune, and tripped and rolled, and pulled himself up. He opened the door to the crooked hut.
The witch sighed loudly. The crooked old man turned toward her, and waved, and shouted, "Hi, Ma!"
"Where have you been Cruikshank?" she asked.
"Oh, I was in town, just a mile down the old crooked road, and I crossed a crooked stile, and I-"
"Shut up, and go inside. I just got me a new familiar," the witch said nodding at you.
"Oh, goody, goody, goody! A new familiar!" he says hopping up and down while holding on to his crooked walking sticking.
"After what you did to my last familiar, you are not allowed to even touch this one!" the witch shrieked.
"What happened to your previous familiar?" you ask nervously.
"Never you mind! Now let's get inside. The hour is getting late," the witch said.
"And besides, I'm hungry," said the old man.
"How is your son older than you?" you ask.
"He's not. I'm just well preserved for my age, thanks to my magical expertise."
"Before she had a familiar, she used to practice her spells on me," her son offered as he hobbled inside.
"That's not true!" she snapped. "I still practice on him, and I had familiars before I had him, he just- never mind."
You begin to itch under your right armpit. It's only as you feel a bit of relief from the itch that you realize you have dropped to all fours, and scratching your armpit with with your hind foot.
As you look at the crooked house with crooked Cruikshank and the witch, another nursery rhyme comes to mind:
There was a crooked man, and he walked a crooked mile.
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.
Suddenly, you catch some movement out of the corner of your eye. It's a mouse.