“You’ll forget all about being this ‘Jason’ guy. From now on, you pertain to a small race of creatures known as ‘Fatsies’, a mythical creature that wishes to serve a human master in any way possible.” I said making up the most random thing that came into my head. “And as such mythical creatures wish to remain hidden from society, you’ll be quiet when I put you inside my pocket and will stop complaining about every little thing I do to you, gotcha?”
“Damn right, Master Mike!” Jason said with most sincere happiness. “I’d never complain about how you use me, I’m just a lowly Fatsie after all! Oh, what I’d do if I weren’t in your hands...!”
“Alright, that’s better, now shut your tiny mouth you piece of shit.” I pocketed the smelly naked Fatsie inside my tight back pocket and headed to the park. I had a fun idea cooking up in my mind.
“Ok, you little turd,” I said and I turned on the microphone again. “Fatsies can camouflage themselves from everyone at will, except to their master, of course. They also have some hidden magical abilities like...Uh...I dunno, surprise me.” I finished and put the microphone once again in the plastic bag.
There were a few guys usually playing cricket in that park. I walked up to them and asked if I could join them, I even offered to use a small ‘ball’ of my own.
After I took out my Fatsie from my pocket, he rapidly camouflaged himself from human sight so he’d look like a regular flesh-colored playing ball to everyone.
Half an hour later I still had absolutely no idea of what the cricket rules meant. It was fun nonetheless playing at hitting Jason around, especially considering I was the only one who could see his buttcrack and cock and balls rolling around.
“Woof!” A dog without a leash ran towards the rolling Jason, believing it to be a regular rubber ball.
“Oh, shit!” I screamed as the dog grabbed Jason in his mouth. I liked fooling around with Jason, but no way I’d let him come to harm. I chased the dog, but the damn animal was too fast for me and I ended up losing sight of it.
The dog, happy to have procured himself a new ‘toy’, started digging up a hole on the ground in order to bury it. But, when its canine teeth squeezed Jason’s flesh the Fatsies’ gases were expelled out suddenly from his buttcrack and into the dog’s mouth.
The dog was terrorized at the smell. The dog had accidentally swallowed rat poison in the past, but this was decidedly worse. It threw the ball into the air, not wanting to hear from this smelly thing again. And Jason fell into...