You stand there looking at yourself in the magic jockstrap, nothing happens. You say, "Gyp!" and pick up the box to read the instructions.
"Thank you for buying Merlin's Magick Jockstrap. With this strap you will be able to the possess the body of any desired jock/athlete. Simply use a marking pen (warning INDELIBLE MARKERS RESULT IN PERMANENT TRANSFORMATIONS) to write the FULL NAME of the intended subject (if the name is common, a photograph of the individual may be inserted in the strap as well). When you put the jockstrap on the spell will activated. Additional details and warning advisories are available on our website..." that was all you read. You toss the box back on the bed, and whip off the jock. You grab a marking pen, and start to write...