I sighed with relief as I unfurled myself from the lamp, eager for the smoke to clear so I could see who had released me – and who would soon become my unwitting victim.
“I am the Genie of the Lamp!” I boomed, as a trembling young man cowered before me. He looked to be about college age, and in fact the smoke dissipated to reveal we were in a tiny dorm room with two twin beds crammed on opposite sides. The side this kid was on seemed neat enough, but the opposite side was looked like a bomb exploded. An empty pizza box sat in a grease stain on an unkempt bedspread, and pencils, dirty clothes, and old video game cartridges were piled everywhere like landfills. I returned my attention to the boy. “What is your name, master?”
“J-Jack,” the boy stammered. I gave him a once-over. He wasn’t much to look at. Yet. Skinny and pale, he obviously didn’t get outside much. He was wearing an oversized T-shirt and jeans, and though he had an unkempt flop of brown hair on his head, by the look of it, it was the only hair on his body. He didn’t even look like he needed to shave!
“Well, Jack. You know the drill. I’m a genie and all that.”
“So I get three wishes?” Jack babbled.
I chuckled heartily. “Oh no, dear boy. The three wish contract is for amateurs! I can grant as many wishes as your heart desires, but only for the next 24 hours.”
Jack just starred at me incredulously. I nudged him. “Go on, make a wish. We can start with something small.”
Jack looked own sheepishly. “Ummm… I mean, if you ARE real… I guess it couldn’t hurt to try to look better? The girls at this school never even give a runty guy like me the time of day.”
“Go on…” I bit my lip with anticipation.
“Well, I wish… I wish I was muscular, with blonde hair.”
Aha! We’re starting with an easy one. I didn’t want to start making major overhauls too soon, so I just gave his wish a tiny nudge, picking my three extra words very carefully.”
“I wish I was muscular, with blonde hair AND PIERCED EARS.”
I snapped my fingers and Jack began to sweat. His baggy shirt suddenly seemed to shrink, clinging to his form as it expanded. His brown hair rippled with color as it faded to blonde. He swept it across his forehead unconsciously, smiling like a loon. He turned to look at the full-length mirror on the back of the door and lifted up his shirt, revealing cobblestone abs leading up to shelflike pecs boasting pert, pointed nipples. He flexed a bicep the size of a baseball.
“This is incredible!” He made his pecs dance in the mirror, not noticing the two diamond studs glinting in his ears as he moved. He was combing his fingers through his golden locks when the doorknob started to rattle. His face fell instantly.
“Shit, it’s my terrible roommate Ken! Genie, you have to hide!” Jack started to shoo me away.
“Don’t fear, Master! Only you can see or hear me. And whenever you make a wish, reality will change so fast that he won’t even remember you making it.”
“Uh… OK. I hope you’re right.” Jack pulled his shirt down right as the door opened. In walked a grumpy looking student with greasy black hair, a pimple-encrusted face, and a foul look. His stomach bulged over his cargo shorts and a faint trail of B.O. wafted behind him. He belched and scratched his ass before leaping onto his unkempt bed and pulling out a handheld video game, without saying even one word to Jack.
The formerly skinny boy was clearly seething with rage at Ken’s intrusion, but I was exuberant. More raw material to play with! If I could tap into jack’s animosity, I could really have a lot of fun with these two… but first, about that smell…
I cozied up to Jack. “See? The boy looked right through me. You have nothing to worry about. Except, you know, his general unpleasantness. But we can do something about that…”
Jack furrowed his brow, but a light bulb soon lit up over his head. “I wish…”
Ken grunted from his messy bed, half-listening. “What?”
I motioned at Jack to hurry up.
“I wish Ken showered more!”
Ooh, a lot of potential with that one, but it’s too early. I didn’t wait half a century to be released and blow my wad this soon. A minor change, then.
“I wish Ken showered more AND ATE BETTER.”
The change was immediate. Although Ken’s side of the room was still a pigsty, the empty pizza box was now a brown banana peel, and his shelf was haphazardly stocked with fruit leather and granola bars instead of Pop Tarts and sugary cereal. His face even looked less greasy, his acne having cleared up tremendously. He set down his game.
“I should probably hit the showers. See ya!” He grabbed a towel and walked down the hall to the communal bathroom.
As the door shut, I winked at Jack. “See? Better already.”
Jack sighed. “I don’t know. Everything about him is so terrible, I’m pretty sure no wish can fix it.”
“Maybe not, but a million wishes can. Just make a wish anytime he does something to annoy you and I can fix it in an instant.
Jack’s eyes lit up, and he grinned devilishly. So did I. This was going to be fun…