"He might be gross sometimes, but you have to admit he's a cute little princess", Emily said to Carla as they came into the living room.
"Yeah, you're right. Look at his tiny fingers!" Carla touched Jeff's right palm with her index finger, and against his will his fingers automatically grabbed hers tightly. "Haha, wow, he's really strong!" she said. Jeff just wanted to be left alone. He tried to squeeze her finger as hard as he could, but she effortlessly freed herself.
"Could you take a photo of Jeffy and me with my phone?" Emily asked.
"Sure, no problem!" Carla answered. "Can I hold him for a photo too?"
"Yeah, but me first. Here's my phone. I'll just hold him in my lap." Emily said.
Jeff immediately knew this was another of her attempts to humiliate him. Also, he was seriously afraid the girls might accidentally hurt him - did they even know how to hold a newborn properly? He started to cry, hoping Mommy would stop them.
"Aww, Jeffy, don't cry, it's okay!" Emily said. She sat down next to him and picked him up. Jeff stiffened his whole body and kicked his legs to try to stop her, but Emily restrained him in her lap by putting her hand on his belly - squeezing Jeff's full stomach just a little too hard. He immediately knew what was coming, but this time he wasn't really unhappy as a lot of barely digested milk shot up through his esophagus. He opened his mouth slightly and threw up a gush that hit Emily's hand and went on to re-decorate the front of his onesie, her pants and the couch in a slightly yellowish white.
"Oh my gosh he puked on me!" Emily yelled in disgust. She immediately put Jeff back on the couch. Carla was laughing hysterically.
At that moment Mommy came in. "What are you doing?" she asked menacingly.
"We were just trying to take a photo of me holding Jeff but he suddenly threw up!" Emily tried to defend herself.
"You must be really careful when you hold him! Better don't pick him up when I'm not in the room, okay? And better clean the sofa quickly, or the stain will be harder to remove."
Defeated, Emily went to get a bucket to clean up the sofa. "Shut up and help me!", she hissed at her still-giggling best friend. "Yeah, sorry. But it looked so funny and gross when he suddenly went like a waterfall. Should have made a video, I'd sooo put it on youtube..." Carla said on the way out of the room.
Jeff enjoyed his victory despite being covered in vomit. He'd never have thought throwing up could ever serve him as self-defence.
"Poor Jeffy, I shouldn't leave you unattended like that. Guess Daddy will have to change your clothes as I'm busy cooking." his mommy said softly while rocking Jeff in her lap, careful not to get any of the mess on herself. She called for Jeff's dad and explained what had happened. He quickly took Jeff to the changing table and finally delivered him from the pink onesie, though Jeff wasn't quite sure what the one he replaced it with looked like. Suddenly Jeff felt really tired and let out a hearty yawn. "Are you tired, Jeffy? I think you want to go to bed" his daddy said. He was already almost asleep when he was tucked into his crib and slept soundly while the rest of the family had dinner.