"First one I'd like to start with is, how many of you have had sex without a condom?" Loki finished asking. Slowly but surely over hundred hands in the 200-person auditorium were raised. Loki did a quick count and smiled. 140 hands were in the air, a nice even number.
"Okay then," Loki said with hidden enthusiasm. "Of those with your hands raised, put your hands down if you had agreed with your partner about not wearing a condom." A lot of hands went down, more than Loki had anticipated. Loki counted the hands still raised: 31. An odd number but still high enough for him to work with.
"Now, gentlemen, I'm sure you are well aware of the dangers that could befall you for having unprotected sex," Loki said. "The number of diseases you'd be exposed to," Loki shuddered. "Disgusting to say the least. And let's not forget the most disgusting disease of all: newborn children."
"How's that our problem?" one young man in the front row asked. He still had his hand up like the other thirty people.
Loki looked at him curiously. "So you're saying that the girl is the one who needs to be concerned about being pregnant, not you?" The man nodded smugly. "Why is that?"
"She should be on that birth control stuff," the man replied. There were a few murmurs of agreement around the room. Loki smiled.
"Well, of course," Loki said, "it's not your fault then if she gets pregnant. She only has herself to blame." There were some more sounds of affirmations to what Loki was saying. "What a...medieval way of thinking." The young man in the front row frowned in confusion. "It seems that you are under the impression that you don't have to deal with any consequences if the girl gets pregnant. Perhaps it is too easy for you to believe that. It would be such a shame if you had to share the consequences." The young man was very confused now. Loki grinned sadistically. He then realized something. "Before I forget, put your hands down if you had sex with a man without a condom." Only three hands dropped. "That would have been awkward to say the least. I must remember to check all of my bases before doing anything."
"What the fuck are you talking about, man?" the young man in the front asked. He broke Loki's train of thought.
"Oh yes, where was I?" Loki said. "Gentlemen with your hands up: congratulations! You're all fathers now, and you're starting to show."
The young 23-year-old man in the front row was finally able to lower his hand. He stared at the man on stage with confusion. Suddenly, the guy next to him, who also had his hand up, started to grunt and groan in discomfort. He was rubbing stomach with a mix of confusion and concern.
"Bro," the first guy asked. "Are you okay?" Then he started to feel something, too. His stomach seemed to burble and stretch a little bit. He felt his shirt tighten around his stomach. The young man started to get alarmed. He had worked so hard on getting his body to a sculpted perfection of large, firm muscles. He watched in shock as his stomach began to expand underneath his shirt. He lifted up his shirt, expecting to see his six-pack gone. He was surprised to find that his abs were still visible yet it looked someone was slowly inflating a balloon underneath his skin. And this balloon had some weight to it. He groaned some more as the expansion of his now protruding belly slowed to a stop. It looked like someone had stuffed a soccer ball under his skin. He glanced over at his buddy. The same seemed to have happened to him. His buddy rubbed his own belly and groaned.
"It feels so tight," he complained. The first guy was about to rub his own belly when he felt something hit the inside of it, right underneath the belly button.
"Oh my god," he said, startled. "I just felt a kick!" Then it sunk in. He and his buddy were pregnant! He heard cries of dismay around the auditorium. Without looking, he somehow knew that the same had happened to the rest of the guys who had their hands up. He turned to glare at the man on the stage. He didn't know how, but he knew that that man was responsible for this.
"Isn't this such a wonderful sight to behold?" Loki said loudly and gleefully. The guys in the auditorium, even the ones who weren't carrying a child inside of them, were visibly freaked out now. Then,