"Kurt, dude, I don't know what the hell I did to you but we need to try and change you back." You say pleadingly, staring at the thing on your kitchen floor. Kurt stares up at you with his beady, glazed over black eyes, no hint of recognition in them. He squeals loudly again and shovels more food into his snout, not even bothering with his hands anymore as he shoves his snout into the mixed mess of food on the floor and digs in.
You step over and grasp the brief on both sides, tugging with all your might, but Kurt is so fat that it doesn't move even an inch. It's literally skintight against his thick body and looks on the verge of snapping. He turns around and squeals in annoyance at you from your touch before digging back in.
You collapse against the kitchen cabinets and are about to get a knife to cut the briefs off when you hear a sudden pounding at the door. "Hey, keep it down in there!" A voice suddenly yells. You realize that it's you and Kurt's neighbor, Ian, who goes to the same college and was probably up writing an essay. "I'm getting sick of you guys making so much noise! I'll report you to the landlord!" He cries, pounding harder. The noise is loud enough to distract even Kurt, who turns his thick head and squeals loudly at Ian.
There is silence for a moment before Ian speaks again. "Do you guys have a pig in there? What the hell is wrong with you?" He cries, pounding on the door harder. You run over, throw on the security latch, and pull the door open as much as the chain will allow. He's standing out there, tapping his foot and looking very annoyed. "Listen, Ian, it was a prank." You lie. "We came home and someone put a pig in our apartment as a joke." He looks unconvinced, but you continue anyway. "We'll get rid of it as soon as possible and..." But your sentence is cut off by Ian suddenly yelling, "WHAT THE FUCK?"
You feel a beefy trotter clap down on your shoulder and turn to see Kurt, a full two feet taller than you and Ian, peeking over your head and out at your neighbor, his snout hanging out of the crack in the door. You're pinned to the wood against his bulk and can do nothing to stop him as he squeals loudly and puts so much force on the door the safety latch breaks, throwing you and him into the hall.
Ian screams and turns to run away, but is tackled by Kurt, who is suprisingly quick for his increased size. Ian's head hits the floor hard as he is pinned under Kurt's bulk. Kurt oinks a few times, turning over to you, before half trotting/half crawling back to his pile of slop that used to be your fridge.
You sigh and drag Ian's unconscious body back into your apartment before locking the door. Kurt goes back to noisy devouring his slop as you lay Ian down on the couch and wonder what to do next.