"Professor MacGuffin," said a very stentorian voice, "I would remind you that I am in charge of Inanimate Intelligence. I would appreciate it if you wouldn't meddle in things you don't understand unless you would like a lesson yourself."
Professor MacGuffin stumbled over his words, "But Professor Grail, this student transformed himself. He wants to be a chair."
Professor Grail asked, "Is that right boy?"
Justin looked between the two professors and gulped, "Uh, Yes sir."
Professor Grail said, "Very well but I will take over from here."
"But, but, "
"I said I will take over from here."
"Very well." Professor MacGuffin excused himself and left.
Professor Grail turned to the chair and asked, "What is your name boy?"
"Justin Posedo."
"Of course. Now you summoned the mentor from the book and he turned you into a chair but instead of waiting patiently for the spell to wear off, you decided to try your hand at magic and free yourself. Am I correct."
"Yes sir."
"And expecting parents to teach their children to respect magic is too much to ask for, correct?"
Justin didn't know what to say.
"It's like gun safety Mr. Posedo. Young men like yourself keep blowing their brains out because parents never taught them to respect the power of guns or of magic. Mentor is a good friend of mine. You should have let his spell play out. You would have been fine but because you decided to mess with his spell, you made it into a tremendously tangled knot and it will not be easy to untie."
"Uh yes, sir."
"Now what nonsense did Professor MacGuffin tell you?"
"He said I have to act like a chair. I shouldn't use the word 'I' and I shouldn't feel any sense of modesty. Do I really have to act like a chair? Can't I wear clothes?"
"Professor MacGuffin was partly right. You are a chair now. You are not a human. I will do some research to figure out how to untie the tangled magical knot you got yourself into but unless I figure out this knot, you may wind up as a chair for the rest of your life."
Justin gulped.
"However, you do not have to avoid the word 'I'. If a fat bastard like Professor MacGuffin sits on you, you are allowed to say, 'I am not strong enough to hold you.' You can also tell students who lean back on you, 'That will damage me.' You are allowed to share your opinions and feelings."
"Can I wear clothes?"
"That is a good question Mr. Posedo. Normally I would say no. It's silly for a chair to wear clothes but no one has ever turned themselves into such an indecent display of a chair before. Sometimes I turn myself into a nice, classic, red-velvet chair and sit by the fireplace. I don't wear clothes when I'm a chair but we might have to cover your naughty bits. You may not dress yourself. You probably couldn't anyway but I will take the matter up with the head of the school we will determine whether to clothe you or not. In the meantime, go to your scheduled classes like normal. You're still a student but you're also a chair so let other students use you."
Professor Grail started to walk away but then turned back. "By the way, you are not the only chair at this school. You are the only one to make such a lewd display of yourself but later, I will introduce you to Paul. He's a talking chair that Professor MacGuffin doesn't know about. Paul has been my chair for a year now. The two of you should talk. He can give you some guidance."