Barty returned to the apartment to be greeted with insistent oinks from the caged pink porker and groans of gastrointestinal stress from James, sprawled on the sofa wearing only a pair of boxers and some gaudy piece of cheap costume bling around his neck. That's when Barty saw all the discarded plastic wrappers scattered on the floor around the sofa and went ballistic.
"James! What the hell?" Barty bellowed, distressed the pig in the nearby cage. "Did you eat all my jerky?"
Barty, a jerky connoisseur, saw the dozens of wrappers and one groaning best friend and put two and two together. "Have you gone nuts?" Barty demanded. "Do you know how much I paid for some of that jerky?"
His friend groaned again, but at the same time the pig in the cage graduated from its urgent oinks to more demanding squeals. Adding to the confusion of the scene, another of Barty's friends knocked at the front door before he entered. "Barty, what's the hold up?" Colin asked.
Barty looked at disgust at his groaning friend. "James went nuts and ate nearly $200 worth of jerky," Barty explained in dismay.
"Well, forget him," Colin said. One glance toward the jerky thief convinced Colin that James was paying for his greed and thievery. "Let's get that pig out of here."
Barty sighed and agreed, moving to join Colin at the cage. "You're sure your uncle's not going to mind adding one more pig to his farm," Barty asked.
Colin laughed. "Well, he might, but I don't plan on telling him. We'll just go in, dump the pig, and get out."
Barty shrugged. The loss of all his gourmet jerky made his triumphant prank less satisfying. "All right," he said. "You grab that end."
As they struggled to get the cage and its porcine occupant out the door, a suddenly sick James pushed past them and ran off into the dark. They heard unmistakable retching sounds and Barty said glumly, "Serves him right for eating all my jerky."
Colin laughed. "Guess he made a pig of himself, huh?"
Inside the cage, as if in response, the young pig squealed again. The two college students ignored the pig's protests, loaded the cage onto a waiting truck, and drove to the farm belonging to Colin's uncle.