And so as I felt my vocal chords produce the words I couldn't control, I was only left to hope the coin toss of gender was in my favor.
"I wish I temporarily assumed the life of Stephanie Woods, a mid-western housewife, and stayed as her until I gain a real and deep appreciation of what being her is like."
Fuck. I thought. So there I was. It was happening. I was to loose my johnson. But what worried me even more was the 'housewife' part, as well as the super-vague condition on me returning to my own life. What does it even mean to "gain a real and deep appreciation" of someone's else life? And who will judge if I did? Magic I guessed. But I didn't get to ponder on that one for much longer because I felt my mouth move again, propelled to move on it's own accord by the magic of my foolish wish.
"I wish I kept my own memories and could sometimes access some of Stephanie's, but only when absolutely necessary to avoid being diagnosed with amnesia. I wish I kept my own mind, but I gain those of Stephanie's feelings and thought patterns I mention in a bit."
The good part was that I was keeping my own mind. The bad part was that the last few words of the wish made me think that my mind will be messed with a bunch to have it match some married chick in some way. The though of that was terrifying.
"I wish at the point I become her Stephanie was 6 months pregnant with twins. I wish that even though the early-pregnancy unpleasantness of morning sickness etc has already passed there was few things that really bother her about her current state: she worries her belly is becoming too large (given her petite frame and the fact she carries twins), she hates how much and how quickly her breasts have swollen tight and heavy in the past few weeks (absolutely straining how much the skin of her chest can stretch in a short period of time), and finally she is absolutely overwhelmed and a quite confused by just how horny for her husband the hormones made her lately (even though sex becomes increasingly difficult with her growing belly and sore breasts)."
The cold sinking feeling I felt in the bottom of my stomach when I realized I was going to spend some time as a female only grew worse as I heard my own voice make the wish even more drastic. I was about to get a first-hand insight into a life so insanely different from my own... I guess that's what I had wished for. I had to give the ring that... But if I knew the outcome the ring was about to produce I doubt I'd have ever signed up for it...
But I wasn't able to think about it too much. I felt a little dizzy and before I even realized what was happening I found I was no longer sitting at a bench in a park. I was sat by a table in an unfamiliar kitchen. But that was only the beginning of all the unfamiliar things about my situation...