Jake notices a piece of paper in a bag that was kicked to the floor, "What's this?" Jake asks picking it up an pulling the paper out.
Many congratulations on your new pair of super hygienic rubber undies! Unless there is a white stripe on the product, we recommend you not pleasure yourself while the undies are covering your privates as you may become permanently attached and ultimately absorbed by the product. If there is a white stripe, this has already happened to someone else and so long as you wear the product, the absorbed person will stay engaged with reality and not fade away. A striped pair of underwear offers a multitude of additional capabilities, and we invite you to explore all transformations that can be done using the sentient power source the other person has become.
If you or someone you knew or loved became affixed to the underwear, within minutes to a few hours they will become a new battery and will be moved to a timeless dimension where they can power the tool for centuries so long as they can mentally function. To that end, once the process begins, their mind is flooded with chemicals to make them happy with their new purpose in life, serving the next wearer of the garment! If you or a loved one are becoming a battery, enjoy the process! If you wish to escape, there is an emergency escape button once you teleport into the alternate dimension. However in 100% of case studies, the former person gives up their identity to be the underwear.
Jake stood there looking down at the underwear gripping his groin. The white stripe across the top of the black rubber gleamed malevolently, meaning a human had worn this, in his house, and become absorbed while losing their mind.
"This isn't funny Dad." Jake yelled. "This isn't funny at all, where are you!?"
Jake searched the house finding himself back in the master bedroom where the underwear was found. Beside the bed he saw his dad's pants with his normal boxer-briefs inside. Jake was scared but he calmed himself down quickly. Those were yesterdays pants. All he had to do to prove it was check for wallet and car keys. If they aren't there, his dad swapped pants and... and he's somewhere other than in the underwear.
Jake reached over and picked up the pants feeling in all the pockets. he found his dads wallet and keys and began hyperventilating then and there.