“...The park restrooms! They’re so grimy and dirty nobody will disturb us.” Wilson finished.
It didn’t sound very romantic, but whatever. You were about to tell Wilson to lead the way, but when you turned your head the nerd wasn’t nowhere to be seen.
“Uh?” You were sure Wilson had been next to you one split second ago. Where did he go? You looked around the park but only saw a few kids heading towards an ice cream stall.
“Are you ok? You look pale.” You heard Wilson’s voice right next to you. You just then realized Wilson hadn’t even stood up from the bench. He had been right there next to you all along. You frotted your eyes, feeling dazed.
“No, I’m fine. I just felt a bit light-headed for a second...” You said. Wilson looked at you quizzically through his glasses... Weird, wasn’t there supposed to be something behind Wilson’s glasses? Maybe you aren’t really feeling well.
“It’s almost lunch time, so maybe you’re just hungry. Did you have proper breakfast?” Wilson kept asking you. For some reason you couldn’t properly read the expression on his face.
“No, seriously, I’m fine!” You were always very modest when people worried about you.
“Do you want a sandwich?... No, that isn’t nutritious enough... Oh! I remember seeing a hot dog stand on the entrance. And don’t worry, the hot dog is on me!” The nerd claimed and immediately jumped off the bench. “C’mon, follow me! Walking will make you feel better!”
You stood up and followed Wilson, who hopped rapidly right in front of your sneakers, leading the way.
Wait, something’s definitely wrong here. Wilson looked way shorter than when you met up with him this morning. You didn’t have to look down at him before!
“Just curious, how tall are you?” You asked, trying your best to act casual.
“Hum?” Wilson seemed bewildered by the sudden question. “Oh, almost six inches, why do you ask?”
“No reason, really.”
Six inches. Yeah, it made sense for Wilson. Still, wasn’t it too short for a person?
“My mother’s always been proud of how tall I am. I went through an astronomical growth spurt when I was eleven!” Wilson claimed proudly.
“Yeah... Sure...”
Eventually you arrived at the hot dog stand. You thought Wilson was exaggerating about your hunger, but damn, didn’t they smell good.
“One hot dog for this fine young lad!” Ordered Wilson. “Make sure the sausage is well made and don’t be shy with the mustard!”
The man in charge of the hot dog stand laughed. “That’s something brave for something like you to say! Whatcha’ say you jump in here and I’ll serve you on the house?”
You had no idea what the man was trying to imply, but Wilson seemed to be unoffended by the comment. “I’m used to the teasing.” He told you. “Oh, can you take out the bill from my pocket? You know I can’t do that.”
“Sure.” You complied. You picked up a rolled-up bill from the pocket of Wilson’s miniature pants and handed it to the man frying the sausages.
You then realized something. “Wait, why was it that you couldn’t pick stuff from your own pockets again?”
Wilson’s answer was simple. “Because I have no limbs, duh.”
“Oh, right. Silly me.”
In less than a minute your hot dog was ready. The man also handed you a few napkins so your hands wouldn’t get all oily afterwards. Maybe Wilson was right and you were hungry after all, because after the first bite it was hard for you to stop. Wilson looked at you thoughtfully as you ate.
“What’s wrong?” You asked him.
“Oh, you know, the obvious. Whenever I see someone enjoying a hot dog I kind of wonder how’d it feel for the one inside the buns...”
Yeah that’s right. Because Wilson was a sausage as well.
Wait, WHAT?!
Since when has Wilson been a sausage?! And how was he able to move and talk?! And what about him wearing a doll’s suit and glasses?! He doesn’t even have eyes anymore!
Then you remembered about the hot dog you were eating.
“Ahhh!” You yelled and dropped it into the ground.
“Hey! What are you doing?” Wilson said undignified at seeing his half-eaten comrade becoming insect food.
“Sorry... It’s just...”
It was just what? That you had forgotten about the fact that he was a sentient sausage? Your mind was very conflicted. On one hand, Wilson had always been a sausage, on the other, that was utterly impossible.
“I already told you I’m not easily offended... Hell, to be honest one of my fantasies is to be served as airplane food to some busy businessman.”
“But you’d die!”
“Yeah, but it’s the only way I’d achieve my dream of working in an airplane! I can’t be a pilot without limbs!”
“Of course you can! If you study hard and apply for it, maybe they can give you some sort of device to control a plane by... I don’t know, wagging your body or maybe with your voice!”
Suddenly Wilson got real quiet. “Wait, are you for real? You think I can be the world’s first sausage pilot?”
“Uh...Sure...!” You had no idea how the conversation had ended up like this.
“...Damn! That’s real fucking awesome! I never thought about it that way!” Slowly but surely Wilson’s body became all rigid.
“What’s happening to you?”
“I’m... becoming hard...” Wilson admitted, blushing.
“For real?!”
“I’m just too damn excited! I’ve never known anyone who would think so highly of me...! Dang, I would kiss you, but as a sausage I’m more inclined to let you play with me anyway you want!”
“But, here, right in the middle of the park?!”
“We can go to the restrooms or whatever, just... Damn...! Just my lower tip touching on the ground is already arousing me! Please, do something!”
Wait, this was escalating quickly. Were you really going to lose your virginity to a very horny talking sausage?