You open the acceptance letter from Illuminati University.
Quirky, but tempting. You wonder what the "O" stands for...
Admit it. College would have been more fun if you were allowed to blow up the instructors. And you really would have liked to major in Military Biology, Anti-Social Sciences, Double-Entendre Bookkeeping, or Computer Wizardry. Too bad you didn't know about IOU. Illuminati University is THE best place to learn Things Man Was Not Meant To Know. With departments like Weird and Unusual Science and Engineering, Inapplicable Mathematics, Misanthropology, and Zen Surrealism . . . not to mention extracurricular activities like Democrats for Cthulhu, Moopsball, and food fights that set off nuclear alerts . . . this is college as it should have been. And gadgets? Everything from the Crockpot of the Gods to the Enigmatic Alien Device Button-Pushing Table. FNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORDFNORD