It is Friday afternoon and you have just gotten out of school. You are waiting for your girlfriend Selena outside of the movie theater. Selena had been out sick for a while and you haven't seen too much of her lately. You were beginning to be afraid that she'd suspect you of finding somebody else, so you invited her to go to the movies once she was feeling better.
You look on your phone at the text message that Selena sent you. She had told you that she had made a full recovery and that she would see you at the theater. However, she is still a no show.
"Where on Earth could Selena be? She said that's she'd meet me here."
But as you ponder the situation, you hear loud booming noises and feel the ground shaking.
"What the?!" you ask. "What's happening!? Earthquake? It can't be. The town isn't anywhere near a fault line. But something is shaking the ground. Whoa!"
You fall to the ground and then you feel a large shadow on you.
"Hi, Jesse," says a familiar voice.
You recognize that voice instantly.
"Selena?" you ask as you stand up.
You look in utter surprise because Selena looks different somehow. She still has long black hair and she wears glasses, but Selena is no longer human. She is now a 12ft tall brown-skinned rhinoceros with two large horns on her nose. Her body is a combination of fat in some places and pure muscle in other places and looks as if it weighs 3 tons. Her jeans and shirt are so tight on her body that they look like they are tattooed on and her pant legs are coming apart at the seams. She is so huge that she has to bend over to be at your eye level.
The sight of such a huge rhino so close to you terrifies you. Her front horn is dangerously close to your head. As you tremble Selena gives you a large kiss that envelopes most of your face and nearly causes you to groan out of fear of being suffocated.
"Sorry I'm late, Jesse," says your pachyderm girlfriend. "At least I'm not late for the movie."
You just continue to stare at Selena.
"Selena?" you ask. "Have you noticed anything different about yourself today?"
Selena snorts in confusion.
"Whatever do you mean?"
You see her huge rear looming in the air with her tail wagging. You bend over to get a good look under Selena's massive belly and see her huge hoofed feet. You look back at her nose.
"How do I put this?" you ask as you twiddle your fingers. "Uh... Selena - you're an enormous rhinoceros!"
Selena looks at you, even more confused than before.
"Yeah," said Selena. "So?"
"So?! You weren't a rhinoceros the last time I saw you!"
Selena snorts and rises up.
"Did you hit your head, Jesse? I've always been a rhinoceros!"
Before you can say anything, Selena takes out her wallet and shows you a picture of her as a child. You remember seeing the photo before but to your surprise the photograph now depicts her as a young rhinoceros with smaller horns.
You can't believe it. Are you going crazy? Have you lost your mind?
You don't remember Selena ever being a big, huge and fat anthropomorphic rhinoceros until today. But if the photograph is anything to go by, she's been a rhinoceros ever since the day she was born.
But how could you only realize this now? And how on Earth did you wind up with a 3 ton pachyderm for a girlfriend?
Before you can say anything else, your girlfriend picks you up and carries you like a handbag to the movie theater.
"So, Jesse," says your rhino girlfriend as she ducks down to go into the theater. "What are we seeing today?"