A shingle dangled outside the large building depicting a blue fiddle, Danor could see the the windows glowing warmly from the candlelight within. There was another sign on the side of the door that read "NO ORCS" with a painted silhouette of a tusked face and a giant red X across it. Danor entered to find a an assortment of humans, dwarfs and halflings, all dressed neatly, and chattering away. He approached the halfling tending the bar.
"A quart of ale good sir," he requested "And a room for the night"
"That'll be three silvers for the ale if you please" responded the bartender. "and two gold for the room"
Danor balked, three silvers for a drink was reasonable for him back in Ashbrook but quite expensive when on a budget. Deciding to limit himself to only one, he handed the money to the short man who poured a tankard for him and told him which room was his. The sip from his tankard was agreeable to his parched throat, so he went for another taste. Before he could a second younger halfling popped up next to him, offering to take his bag to his room. Danor handed over his pack and went for another swig, however he found himself unable to resist taking a long draft to quench his thirst and immediately he began to feel a pleasurable buzz. Danor did not partake in alcohol often, but felt the effects were presenting themselves much sooner than usual. Two thirds of the way through his mug he felt a sense of calm come over as the gentle strumming of a lute player in the corner washed away all his worries.
"Can ya hear me boy!"
Danor was shaken out of his stupor and turned to see a rotund older gentleman on his left.
"I'm sshorry, what did you sshay?" Danor slurred before taking another swig.
"Where are ya from? You got the look of the road about ya" the old man conversed.
Danor paused for a second and had another sip trying to collect his muddied swirling thoughts, "Ashhbok, my name iz...izzz Daan-*hick*-or C-cloubk"
"Ha! had a few already have ya?" The man chuckled.
"No ish my firsht" Danor smiled as he went for another taste, but his face fell when he found the tankard empty. "Awww, shum one drank it all! Gesh I shood go to bed"
"Nonsense, if this is how ya handle one drink, I'd be laugin' ta see ya on two" The man insisted, "Barkeep, an ale for my new friend here"
Danor's face lit up as another tankard was plopped down in front of him "Thanksh mister!"
He set down his empty wooden tankard with a loud thump and the handle splintered off.
"Whoops, guesh I don't know my own shtrengh... shorry" he said embarrassed as the bartender glared at him and cleared away the remnants of the cup.
Danor lifted the new mug with two hands and started chugging it down.
"Woaaah slow down there lad" the fat man commented "It's best to savor it"
"Ish my ale I drink it how I likesh!" argued Danor, suddenly feeling hot inside.
"Ha, okay settle down big fella" the gentleman responded as he started stepping away "I've just spotted a friend, nice to meet you, good day!"
Danor ignored him as he polished off the rest of his ale. Unfortunately he found himself still thirsty and figured one more would hit the spot
"Another ale mister short man!" he ordered.
"Are you quite sure you haven't had enough?" The halfling frowned
"ONE MORE!" Danor barked, thumping his fist against the counter.
The halfling jumped and quickly poured another tankard of ale.
"Th-three silvers please"
Danor opened his coin pouch.
"Uhhh...one..." He struggled, trying to count out the coins "two...ummmm...arrrrgh"
His head began hurting at this point so he just grabbed a fistful of coin and banged it on the table. The startled man picked out a few coins and pushed the rest back to Danor before scurrying off. When the mug reached Danor's lips something was blocking him from drinking it. He reached inside his mouth and felt two of his bottom teeth had grown large and sharp. Annoyed at this new inconvenience he started tilting his head far back and pouring the ale into his mouth. Some of it spilled down his jaws but he managed to get down most of it.
He was about to order another when he suddenly realized he really needed to piss. The younger halfling had returned and yelped as he was hoisted off his feet and met with the ugliest human face he'd ever seen.
"Where go pissh?" Danor asked.
The young halfling pointed a shaking finger to a door to the side of the tavern. He squeaked after being dropped as Danor stomped off into an alley. He looked about for an outhouse but grew impatient as the pressure in his bladder increased. His thick fingers started fumbling with the laces on his trousers but he couldn't untie them. Letting out a frustrated roar he ripped them apart, flopping out a long thick penis. Danor was briefly confused as he remembered his cock being significantly smaller. The color also seemed a bit off, but before he could dwell on it a wave of relief washed over him as his urine started loudly splashing against the alley walls. He let out a deep sigh as he pissed and started to notice his clothes were starting to feel hot, confined and itchy. As his stream abated Danor could hear a man snoring in the alley to his left. He looked to be dressed much more comfortably. As the last drops of piss left his fat cock, Danor pulled off his fur-lined jacket and tunic revealing a hard green gut and removed his trousers exposing two thick trunk like legs that started kicking the man awake.
"Give me clothes now!" Danor ordered, dropping his own clothes at the man's feet. "We swap"
"Wha-?" The man responded, completely baffled by the big naked orc standing before him. Danor was impatient and began forcefully stripping clothes off the man who was too groggy to put up much fight. Soon he was cupping his genitals with his hands and shouting while Danor climbed into the rough shorts and slipped on the man's vest (He couldn't be bothered with the shirt). Danor made his way back inside the inn ignoring the man excitedly rummaging through stuffy clothes Danor left behind.
A silence spread over the crowd as Danor banged his head on the door way and growled. He figured it must have somehow shrunk since he'd been gone. When he reached the bar the short man was no where to be seen. In fact everyone had backed up far away from him. Frustrated Danor banged his fists on the counter and shouted for ale. The front door to the tavern flew open and in clanked three heavy armed men, including the guard from before.
"All right move along," commanded shiniest guard, "You lot know orcs aren't allowed in here."
"Huh? Me no orc," Danor puzzled "Me hoo-man"
"I've met some bloody stupid orcs in my time," commented the gruff dwarf guard "But never one so stupid he didn't even know he was an orc"
"Nooo, you see me before!" Danor implored the guard from the gate "Me name Daaaah...Da-or g-glou."
"I've never met this green-hide before in my life" the gate guard spat "At least I don't think I have, they all look the same to me."
"All right Darg," intoned the shiny guard firmly, "You've caused enough trouble, this is your last warning"
"Nooo, Darg want ale!" Danor started moaning "Darg pay bed here, Darg stay!"
A loud clang sounded behind him and a blunt pain rattled in the back of Danor's skull as the floor rose up to meet him as his vision went black.
-
When Danor woke up everything looked cloudy. It took him a while to realize he was lying on his back staring up at actual clouds as dawn was breaking. He pushed himself up from the mud, a high wall loomed in front of him and fields ran all around. They had knocked him out and dragged him outside the city gates to dump him on the side of the road. Danor tried to remember how this had all happened but he couldn't seem to concentrate. His thoughts inevitably kept drifting back to how hungry, angry and horny he was.