Time flies when you're inside a womb. But it's still too boring. I don't know how I'm conscious but I didn't stop thinking about Francis and what he did to me. Come on! I was his best friend and now I'm just a fetus inside the uterus of a whore... I mean, my new mom.
What had happened to my family? Did Francis change reality like he did with Derryl? Did they forget me?
What's that? A light? It's warm... Maybe it's time to get born... It's been nine months already?
Hands... I can see hands. They're touching me, they are pulling me out. It's not painful but I'm still crying.
Too much light, too much noise. I feel unsecure... small and exposed.
But it didn't take too long. Safety comes back in the arms of a woman. Mom.
I feel relaxed now... I just can sleep in her arms... sleep and give away of my worries...
My mind is becoming foggy... Memories, knowledge... Francis. Everything is fading away. I know I should fight to keep some of my mind... but it's useless... I'm just a newborn now.
Mommy it's lighting the candles on my birthday cake! She said they are four! I don't know exactly how to count it but I trust mom.
It's just me and mom. There was like that since I have memory. She says I have a daddy like other kids but I hadn't seen him. Maybe today it's the day when he comes.
I want to blow the candles but mommy wants a photo before. She brushes my hair, it's brown like hers but it isn't as long.
"Smile, honey!" She said and I smiled. She takes the photo. "Good boy, baby!" She kisses me and I blow the candles. I'm happy.
"Did you make a wish?" She asked me.
"Yes! But I won't tell you!" I replied. My wish it's really simple. To be with my mom forever.
Time has passed. I'm older now. Not too old, just twelve. I've had a simple life until now. Nothing luxury, just the basics.
I have some friends, Mark and Kevin. They don't live too far if you use a bike.
There are also Joshua, Nick and Kenny, they are from my swimming team. I like them too. But at the end, it's just me and mom.
I'm not a perfect son but I try to be a good one, even though sometimes I mess it up. I'm a preteen in the end. Me and my friends are curious. Porn, sex... sometimes I see it on my computer and since I learned how to, I also masturbate.
My mom's a little overprotective and she had installed a camera on my room for my safety. I don't like it but I didn't blame her for that.
She told me that she will be overprotective until the day I become a grown man. Responsible and capable of taking care of her.
I don't want to disappoint her so I'm terrified of growing up. To be like my father and abandon her.
When I learned that boys get erections when they begin their growing up I was frightened. I even tried to stop doing it but I like the feelings it gives me too much. Even so I'm still worried about growing up. About becoming an adult.
"Raul?!" My mother said from the kitchen.
"Yes mon?!" I replied. Mon? Why did I say that?
"Would you like some orange-juice?" She asked me.
"Yeah, thanks!" I replied and waited for her coming to my bedroom.
I love her. Some people called her Lucille or Lucile, whatever, but to my she will always be my mom.