"Oh, yeah, hehe, I wish that last November I was elected Sheriff, and was given extreme new powers under the law and order initiative that passed at the same time," Spike in your body said, and instantly he was dressed in the Sheriff's uniform. Straining Spike's neck from the harness you were now fastened in you could see the deputies approaching. It was weird seeing yourself in the Sheriff's cum stained green uniform, and the grimace on your former face indicated that Spike found it odd too. "I wish that the first thing I did upon taking office was change the uniform into a more intimidating and practical design..." his green uniform darkened to black patent leather, his utility belt now was equipt with a whip and cattle prod as well as hand cuffs and a gun, a shiny gold star was mounted on the left leather shoulder/chest covering. You crane your head and surpress a snicker as Deputy Todd Harris and Harvey Cantrell are now wearing similar outfits. The outfit is a bit too form fitting for these donut jockeys, though on your old body it seems to work.
"Hello, Sheriff, Spike been naughty again?"
"Nah, actually Spike just volunteered for the canine unit," you hear your voice saying.
"You're not going to make him an officer, are you, sir?" gasped Harris.
"No, Todd, he'll be one of the canines. I wish that you and everyone would remember the memo I issued in December which the council ratified that would allow us to reclassify humans as livestock for use in the Park Patrols and Canine Units." Instantly, you and everyone remember the memo. You hear the clatter of hooves, and a small surrey pulls up with Deputy Donahue, but instead of a horse, the cart is being pulled by two gangbangers from school. The young men are naked and shaved all over wearing bits in their mouths, leather harnesses with blinders, and steel toed leather boots.
"Yes, sir I recall now. Hehe, here's Donahue with those two joyriders, after two years as ponyboys, I bet they'll want to enlist like Spikey," Harris gushes trying to make up for his earlier misstatement.
"Um, sir, we had a complaint about your use of Spike here, perhaps you should take him into the rest room or back to the station," said Cantrell nervously.
You've never seen such a mean expression on your face before. His eyes narrow, and his mouth becomes a straight set line. He speaks through his gritted teeth, "Who complained?"
"It was that Matthews kid, sir. He said he's got a bunch of junior high school kids coming for a batting practice, and he thought this might be inappropriate for their innocent eyes."
"Matthews, huh?" the Sheriff said with a wicked gleam in his eye, and rubbing the palms of his hands together. His supple black leather pouch is rapidly tented. "Batting practice? Hehe, I'll show him some really batting practice."