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Animalia Magazine: Medieval March Edition

added by makutamon 5 years ago O

The March issue of Animalia Magazine was a little earlier than usual because of the Spring Carnival that was coming up, but fortunately it also included information about the Spring Carnival, as well as other things.

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The cover couple was Abby and Samson done up as a medieval knight and princess, which was done in part to advertise the Renaissance Fair that was part of the Spring Carnival. Their article not only talked about the Renaissance, but also medieval myths and misconceptions that most people believed for years that were now confirmed to be false. One really surprising thing was that many myths about King Arthur and his knights actually originated in the Medieval Era. What was even more surprising was that real medieval knights were members of a noble's private army that were more like Tony Soprano than Lancelot.

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There was also an article featuring the first four members of Project White Lily: Larry, Amos, Buford, and Esteban. It talked about the basic concept of the Project, and interviews with each member. While they had no immediate long-term plans, they did plan to become part of UFC-A.

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There were also several addresses that granted early access to clips known generally as "Champs and Chumps", with the uncensored clips featuring Animalians, and Dinotopians in particular, requiring premium accounts. The "Champs" were Animalians who managed to pull off difficult feats, while the "Chumps" were humans who tried to charm possible bondmates, suffered an epic fail and/or got hurt in the process, often with color commentary and general goofiness from The Smoking Gun and watchmojo.com.

One such example of a "Chump" tried to use a WCW wrestling move to break a folding table with his butt, but failing, which seemed to reinforce the opinion that "professional wrestling" was fake. A comment on the website on the video said "He was walking around and smiling after his fail, but I bet $25 that there was blood in his urine the next day." Horizon Light didn't even bother to comment, knowing without a doubt the result.

In opposition, a clip featuring a "Champ" was Andrew the Brachiosaur Dinotopian successfully pulling off a 10-ton squat without hurting himself, and while wearing Dinotopian posing shorts and little else. What made is more amusing were the late high school-early college girls acting like young girls at a rock concert, or a feeding frenzy with a predator going after fresh meat. While most predators took offense to the "feeding frenzy" comment, others, particularly current or former rock stars, said that when they saw the crowd of squealing fan girls, nostalgia struck them then. There was a similar one featuring Miko having to deal with fan boys, but Miko was able to keep them at bay by wrapping her new legs around a 55-gallon drum and crushing it in one go, which seemed to make many guys nervous.


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