Matt walked around aimlessly across the distorted cityscape of Hell’s Nest. He felt a deep sense of loss. Somehow, he knew that his favorite muscle wasn’t just currently unattached to him but that it simply didn’t belong to him anymore, as if a contract had just been sealed.
Definitely he needed a drink. His aimless wandering got to an abrupt ending when he came across a familiar place, The Drunken Goat. Matt had been in that bar countless times, it was his favorite place to get wasted whenever he felt down.
However, the building looked a bit different than he remembered. It looked like a bomb had devastated the place a long time ago and whoever had tried to repair the damn thing up had done a very sloppy job. Also, the silly and friendly cartoon goat drawn on the banner looked more like a stereotypical rendition of Satan at the moment. Weird.
Matt shrugged and was about to enter the place when a voice called out to him from the shadows.
“Hey, mortal! You reek!”
“Uh?” Matt looked around him, then sniffed his armpit. Sure, it wasn’t clean, but it wasn’t that obvious, right?
“I meant your soul, idiot.” The voice’s owner came into view. It was a tall figure drenched in a ragged trench coat and a hat that didn’t let Matt cleary see its face apart from its big crooked smile. The guy looked like one those street flashers. It gave Matt the creeps. The last thing the cockless wonder kid wanted right now was for some pervert to rub his dick all over his face. “You’re goin’ all over the place draggin’ your stinkin’ soul like it’s some piece of candy you’re gonna give away for free. What gives, you fuckin’ tease?”
Matt hadn’t realized that. “S-sorry... I’ll try not to show if off that much...”
The figure shook his head. “...You’re a clueless runt, aren’t ya? Is it the first time you flipside or what? Did you just die yesterday or somethin’?”
“Flipsiding?... What’s that?” Matt wondered. “And actually I’m not dead or anything like that, I was just pursuing some demons who stole something... important... from me and somehow I ended up here.”
The figure looked shocked for half a second, but then his smile grew even wider than before. It was then when Matt realized the man had a very long tail sticking out from below his trenchcoat. It was being wiggled excitedly right now. “My apologies, kid. I thought you were just braggin’ about some ol’ soul you found. Turns out that tasty human soul is actually yours... Come over here...”
The tall figure put his arm over Matt’s shoulder in a friendly manner and leaded the skater over the alleyway and made sure no other demons were looking. “You were very lucky to come across me first, only Satan knows what evil bastards you can find in the city...”
“I guess...”
“You can call me Trenchy, friend.” Trenchy’s grip was very strong, he did not want his newfound friend to run away.
“Oh, I’m Matt Hawkins, and...”
Trenchy let out a deep laugh. “Oh boy, I’d advise against using the name your papa gave you over here... Don’t ya know our mortal names can be used against us in all sorts of curses and incantations? It’s been so many centuries I used my mortal name that I even forgot about it!”
“Ok, just call me Viper, and could you let go of me? I just wanted to have a drink right now...”
Trenchy hardened the grip on his friend. “No way I’m gonna let you go, not with your delicious human soul revealing your nature away. Haven’t you got any idea how many dolphin souls one human soul is worth? You’re like a living one thousand dollar bill walking around...”
That certainly sounded scary. Viper wouldn’t last very long in this Hell’s Nest with all demons smelling his mortal essence from kilometers away.
“But I have just what you need!” Trenchy said and started rummaging through his coat. Then he presented Viper with what looked like a can of spray deodorant. “This fantastic Demonical Essences™ spray will make ya soul smell like the nastiest of imps! Yours for only 9 cat souls!”
The thing looked like the real deal alright. “But I’ve only got mortal money...”
“No problem! After all, I wouldn’t be a true friend if I didn’t give ya a small discount, wouldn’t I...?”
Trenchy then licked his huge mouth. “I just want a tiny itty bite...”
The Viper started feeling uncomfortable. “A bite of what...?”
“Of your juicy human soul!” His smile revealed a set of extremely sharp teeth. “Oh, don’t make that face, I won’t eat it... whole. I just want a little taste. Just the equivalent of the price of the spray... It’s not like the other demons would even ask for your permission anyway...”
Viper wasn’t fully convinced. It was true that he needed that spray to be able to move around the city freely, but using his human soul as currency to pay for it...?
Trenchy circled Viper, eyeing his ass.
“I think I have no choice but to... Um... What...? Hey!”
Trenchy lowered Viper’s pants and marveled at the sight of the skater’s buttocks.
“You won’t regret your purchase! Oh dear Satan, it smells delicious!”
“I thought I was giving you a small part of my soul, not my anal virginity!”
“Oh, so your ass’ a virgin. I really don’t care much about your ass. Dude, do you even wipe?”
“Then why are you looking at it like that?!”
“Oh, it just happens to be in the way. I can smell your delicious’ soul scent coming from here.”
“From my ass?!”
“Nope, actually I’d say it’s located just a centimeter away from your prostate.”
“Seriously?! So that’s where every man’s soul is?!”
“Of course not. It varies from human to human, but don’t ya worry, I’m a pro, I’ve been extracting souls from all sort of mortal creatures like this for centuries, I’m most certain the smells coming from there. Besides, I already did an anal extraction once. Sure, it was to an elephant but...”
Viper’s face froze in shock. “You’re telling me it’s the first time you do this to a human?!”
“Aww, stop complaining already! I’m fuckin’ hungry!” Trenchy rolled up his sleeve and inserted his fist up Viper’s asshole without warning.
“YAAAAAARGHHHH!”
“Oh! I can feel it! It’s all round and squishy!”
“STOOOOOOOP!”
“For fuck’s sake, it’s stuck. Relax your muscles, boy.”
“How in hell do you expect me to relax?!”
After what seemed an eternity to Viper, Trenchy removed his arm from his rectum and looked at what he had extracted with glee. “It’s beautiful!”
Viper let himself fall to the floor in exhaustion. After catching his breath he rolled up his pants and looked at Trenchy, who was still mesmerized at what he had in his hands.
It was a translucent blue ball. It wasn’t hard, in fact it looked flexible and malleable.
“So... That’s my soul...?”
Trenchy didn’t reply. He just sniffed it and entered a state of ecstasy.
“Fuck... It’s so pure and beautiful... Kinda like a female’s, but with something cool and rebellious in it...”
“Hey, I’m not a fag.”
Trenchy looked at Viper’s eyes for a moment. “You say that, yet you don’t even have balls...”
Yikes! The guy had noticed it! But he was too busy salivating at the human soul to wonder why the skater had no genitals.
“Remember, just a tiny bite, eh? Then you give it back...”
Trenchy lifted a finger and with it he squeezed Viper’s soul a tiny bit. Viper felt a strange shiver running all over his body just then.
“You know, maybe this isn’t a good idea after all...” Viper didn’t want to imagine what would happen if Trenchy ate even a tiny bit of his soul... Would that affect him in some way? Or what if Trenchy couldn’t resist and ate the whole thing and that rendered him unable to return to the mortal world?
Trenchy couldn’t resist the temptation anymore, so he got the tasty human soul closer to his mouth and...