Jake wandered down the stairs into the living room. He was slightly annoyed by the phone call he received. Something about the so-called town curse and the world transforming. He shook his head in aggravation. It meant nothing to him. He couldn’t even remember what moron had even called him. He entered the kitchen. His dad was reading the paper at the table while his mom was fixing up breakfast for his younger sister, Erica. He heard some thuds on the stairs behind him. His older brother, Chris, came stomping down the stairs, carrying his backpack and a football without a shirt on.
“Morning, Jake, Chris,” Jake’s mom said after briefly glancing their way. “Do you both have time for some breakfast? I just finished up some toast and bacon.”
“Sweet,” Chris said, walking past Jake. “Christie said she was making one of her breakfast smoothies for me. I’ll need something edible to tie me over for lunch.”
“That’s not very nice to your girlfriend,” Erica complained.
“Sorry, Sis,” Chris said. “I love her to bits, but I have a specific policy about what goes into my stomach: If it looks the same outside of my stomach as it does inside my stomach, then it can’t possibly be edible or even remotely healthy to consume.”
Jake walked over to the cabinet to get a glass and asked, “Why don’t you just say that you don’t like it?”
“Because I don’t want to be single like you,” Chris poked fun at Jake. “Being extremely healthy is incredibly important to Chris. I’d be in the doghouse for a week if I complained about it.”
“It’s not as bad as you think,” Jake’s dad said without looking up from the paper. Jake’s mom whacked him in the back of the head with a smirk.
“Very funny, sweetheart,” she said sarcastically.
“Your names are so alike,” Erica said, placing her plates in the sink. “Does that ever get weird?”
“Eh, sometimes,” Chris shrugged, picking up a piece of bacon and a slice of toast from the plate their mom handed him. “But we make it work.” Erica shook her head and raced out of the kitchen to her room to finish getting ready.
Jake started to take a sip of orange juice when Chris walked over and whispered in his ear, “The real reason is that Chris is absolutely the best cocksucker I’ve ever dated. Plus, his dick is so tasty.” Jake recoiled and nearly spat out the orange juice. He started coughing violently. Their parents looked over at him worriedly.
“I’m fine,” he spat out. He looked at his brother like he had gone insane. “HIS dick?!” he hissed.
Chris mirrored Jake’s look. “Yes, Jake. Chris has a dick. He is a guy. Why is this such of a surprise to you?” Jake didn’t have a response for his older brother because he couldn’t bring himself to say a word. His brother was gay? Since when? He was just talking about Christie his girlfriend, not Chris his boyfriend. But the way Chris was acting implied that he hadn’t said anything strange or wrong at all.
“Whatever, bro, I’ve got to go,” Chris said, no longer whispering and walking away from a still stunned Jake. “If we can make it to school early, I just might get lucky with Chris in the car!” Jake didn’t think he could get more stunned. But his dad’s response proved him wrong.
“That’s my horndog,” their dad said with a chuckle. “Give his dick an extra kiss for me will you?” Jake was horrified. Did his dad just tell Chris to kiss another man’s dick…FOR him?! And they were all acting like it was nothing out of the ordinary for him to say.
“Hopefully, I’ll get to do more than that!” Chris said. He gave their mom a hug. “I’ll catch you guys later.”
“Have a good day, honey!” she said.
“See ya, Daddy,” Chris said before leaning down and open-mouth kissed his dad. They made out for a few seconds, both of them groaning into their kisses. The two of them separated, and Chris walked to the door.
“Uh…C-Chris?” Jake stuttered, barely able to say anything. Chris turned and gave him a quizzical look. “Um, aren’t you forgetting something?”
Chris looked down at his bare chest. “No, I don’t think so.” He frowned at Jake. “You’re acting weird today, man. Gotta go.” With that, Chris walked out the door wearing only a pair of blue basketball shorts and shoes. Jake just stared blankly after his brother. His mind couldn’t even begin to process what had just happened.
“What’s wrong, Jake?” his dad asked. Jake’s eyes drifted to his dad. “What was Chris forgetting?” There was so much that was wrong with what had happened in the past five minutes. Jake didn’t even know where to begin.
“Well, for starters,” Jake began, “he wasn’t wearing a shirt.”
His dad stared blankly at him. “Son, that isn’t anything new. Your older brother never wears shirts just like you never wear shoes or socks.”
Jake’s head snapped down to his own feet. Sure enough, he could feel the cool tiled floor with his bare toes. How had that happened? Jake hadn’t even noticed that he wasn’t wearing any shoes or socks. How did he forget to put them on?
“Are you sure you’re alright?” his dad asked. Jake couldn’t take his eyes off of his own feet. He was too shocked with the whole situation that he couldn’t respond.
“Honey, could you take over?” his dad said, presumably to his mom. “Your brother should be here for us to head into work together soon. He likes it when I eat out his asshole after using that new minty mouthwash.”
Jake started to feel a little lightheaded. First his brother has a boyfriend with a tasty dick. Then he and his dad make out for several seconds. Chris apparently never wears shirts now just like Jake now never wears socks or shoes. And last but not least, his uncle likes it when his dad eats him out. This was starting to get to be a lot to handle all at once. He heard the chair scoot out from the table and could feel his mom’s eyes on him. Jake looks up at her and…