"But I don't understand! The imposter, he...he acted like..."
"Like he didn't remember being Jared?" asked Thoth.
"Yes!"
"He didn't. You were the part of the soul with the memories. His was the part with the connection to Peime-nte-rê."
"Pie-muh-what?"
"Peime-nte-rê," said Thoth, scratching at the side of his beak in a thoughtful sort of way. "How to explain...if we are gods with a lower case g, then Peime-nte-rê is the Uppercase G God. The ur mind from which gods and souls spring. A damned inelegant description, and I fear it may give you the wrong impression altogether. It would be simpler if you were culturally Hindu...ah, well. No use crying over spilled cultures."
Anubis gave Jared's shoulder a squeeze.
"Peime-nte-rê's influence is what makes humans more than mere beasts. Lacking the connection, your part of the soul was unequipped to truly resist the canine influences. But, lacking memories, your other half was incapable of fully realizing what had been done to him. In addition to desiring humanity, he also felt the ache of a missing part - you. Right now, he - and you must remember, Jared, that he is you - is having a nervous breakdown. He knows you're dead, but doesn't know how. He fell to the ground, experiencing a seizure. He's currently unconscious, and is being rushed to the hospital."
"Which is how," said Thoth, "we're going to fix this."
Jared blinked.
"Wait, hold on...lemme see if I'm following. I was both the dog, and myself, the whole time."
"Just so." said the ibis.
"The dog is dead, so I'm here, but I'm also in an ambulance somewhere, because the part of my soul that does...normal soul stuff, knows I've died and is not happy about it."
"That's right, Jared, well done!" said the jackal.
"All of this happened because my brother accidentally took advantage of an ancient god who has a screw loose, but he didn't realize he was doing it OR have a way to do it right?"
"Ahem, yes. I'll be interceding personally, along with another colleague, to make a patch on that. In truth he DID make a dog, but the dog was also split in two and was mixed up with you and your other half. Very messy," said Thoth, waving his fingers in a slightly fussy way.
"Right. So, there should be me, and a dog."
"Correct," said Thoth, "and when all is said and done there WILL be a dog named Shaggy who is your family pet. He will be a true dog, but you will always have some...connection to it. I'm afraid you'll never quite shake some canine habits. On the plus side, you'll be able to understand dog language. Very useful skill."
"Right, but, and I don't mean any disrespect, but isn't there a problem with this picture?"
The ibis head tilted in confusion.
"What?"
"Shaggy...I...just got put down."
Anubis let out a ringing laugh, and Thoth looked a bit befuddled.
"He has you there, o god of wisdom!"
"Harrumph. I am well aware. No need to crow so, you flea bitten undertaker."
Anubis merely laughed louder.
"Of course we will restore the dog to life. It's a simple bit of necromancy, after all..."
"Ahaha! And what of the humans at the pound, hmm?"
"Oh, go chase a car. I'll think of something, I'm sure. I always do."
With apparent great effort, Anubis returns to seriousness, but Jared can hear an edge of amusement still in his voice."
"Now, Jared, you have a decision to make. You can either be taken from here, and restored to your other half directly, or be sent back to ride the dog until we can bring you back to your body."
Jared shivered.
"Why would I want to be the dog again?!"
"Because, " said Thoth, "your body is in a full breakdown. The return will be extremely traumatic. You would experience strange visions, psychic traumas on top of your existing psychological ones, and probably have to fight and subdue your own other half, who may not recognize your good intent and would, in that case, fight for self preservation. As a dog, I would be able to go with you in human disguise, and could transfer your memories back into your self with minimum trauma."
Jared gaped a bit. After a moment, he responded.
"Well...what if I come back as the dog first?"
"Apart from the entertainment value of watching me work, it would mean your self would be a bit more canine after restoration. Still human, but a very dog like personality. You'll be much more like Shaggy than you would otherwise."
Jared finds himself faced with a fairly tough decision...