You take a deep breath. There didn't seem to be any easy option to get out of this. You felt guilty about the lady, her kid, that jogger dude, and even the police officer.
You didn't feel as bad about Keith because relatively speaking, he seemed pretty chill about the situation. You ruffle his ears and he leans into the pet.
You sigh. "Keith. I need some time to figure things out, but don't really feel comfortable with leaving them here. Don't want them to get into trouble or something."
Keith whines and then gives a little nod.
"Maybe I just need to focus on that and the keys will provide." You close your eyes and try to focus on the idea of giving yourself some peace and quiet to figure out this situation. You press the button on the keys and...the barking stops. You open your eyes. "Wow. Did that work? Keith?"
A German shepherd does not appear to be in the passenger seat anymore. "Keith?" You look down and gulp. You slowly reach over and pick up the item on the seat and look it over. "Oh God, Keith?!"
In your hand you're holding a plastic figurine of a sitting German shepherd, complete with collar. The details and paint job are impressive, from his tongue lolling out expression to his shep markings, even to his sheath, a little bit of pink still sticking out.
"But wait, if you're a toy figurine, does that mean...?"
You slowly open the car door to look outside.
Sure enough, there's the figurines of a German shepherd, a German shepherd puppy, and a Rottweiler standing on the pavement, each only a few inches tall. The adult dogs are stuck in poses of barking and growling. The puppy is scratching his ear with a hind leg.
"Fuuuuuuuuuck."
You lean out and carefully pick up the figurines. You set all the figurines, including Keith, on your dashboard. Well, at least no one was growling or barking or biting at you now, but this presented a whole other set of issues and considering what Keith had hinted at about his brief dog poo interlude, you could only conclude that everyone was aware in their current forms.
"OK. I'm really sorry about all of this. To say the least, everything got out of hand. I mean, things started out when I accidentally turned my best friend Keith into a dog, and then into a pile of dog crap. Crazy, right?"
None of the four figurines respond.
"I think the best thing we can do is go home, calm down, and figure out the best route of action from here. Any objections?"
You give a severe look at the growling dog figurines. Still no response. "Ah, good to hear you're all so compliant now."
A little curiosity strikes you. You pick up the German shepherd figurine and check something. "Huh. Still a bitch." You set her down.
You have the brief thought that just selling these figurines on eBay might be the easiest route of all. You sigh. Alas, you're not quite that devious and you know the guilt would get to you. Eventually. You needed to take a moment, figure out more about these keys and plot a plan.
So, figurines still on the dashboard, you pull out and drive back to your apartment.