With winter stubbornly clinging to spring and the final day of school being the first Friday of May, there was a lot of things to get ready for. However, there wasn't a lot of prep going on that there wasn't a lot of humor going around.
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Two scientists were watching Jack Piper running on a treadmill as part of a physical exam before he was officially registered for A-BC.
"Subject Zero is now a fully functional member of Animalia." said one scientist.
"It seems like only yesterday when he was running around the labs screaming." said the second.
"But that was yesterday." said a nearby lab assistant. "Remember when he met his in-laws for the first time?"
"Oh, right." said the first.
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Andrew was just getting home when he saw Jen on the phone and talking in Japanese. She was hanging up just as Andrew approached her.
"Who were you talking to?" he asked.
"Some friends of mine," said Jen, matter-of-factly, "They're in a kind of quarantine apartment due to diseases that ravage them physically. I'd think they'd make good Project Phoenix Volunteers."
"Why would they be there in the first place?" asked Andrew, a little surprised.
"It's not our custom to show our dirty laundry to outsiders." replied Jen.
"I don't think any Americans would be bothered by seeing your dirty underwear." responded Andrew. It took a while for Jen to get what he was saying.
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Another funny thing that happened was when Jen and Andrew were at the gym. Andrew was showing how to use a certain machine when there came a loud ripping noise from not too far off. Turning, they saw one of the "chumps" that seem to pop up everywhere in Animalia bending down to pick up a 75-pound squat to attempt to show of his "manliness", the only thing preventing it from being accomplished was the big hole in a certain place.
"The main reason why we wear boxer shorts while working out, and why Duluth Trading Co. came up with Longtail T-Shirts, is not to offend other gym goers with a full moon." said Andrew, covering up Jen's eyes as the Wolfe couple began howling like werewolves do at a full moon in those bad werewolf movies.
"People," called out Courtney, "Can we please get something to cover up this chump's rump?" After that, it was a long walk of shame back to the showers.
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It wasn't always epic fails to impress potential bondmates that turned out to be funny. Sometimes it was just skilled people messing up where they would otherwise succeed:
"So this is the dive I accomplished when I won the national diving championships." said one UNLV student at the Claw Coliseum Pool to the Five Elements and three blackback gorilla Animalians. He then set the diving board to his usual setting and began the dive. Unfortunately, both his spin and his flip was a "tad off" and ended with a belly flop.
"Oooh!" everyone winced, with one of the gorillas commenting, "That wouldn't hurt him."
"Are you alright?" asked Huoxing as the guy swam back to the edge.
"It's not so bad." he said, "Even if you're really good at something, you can still mess up."
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One final funny thing that happened when someone walked into the Outpatient Services in Horizon Light Hospital, half hunched over and seeming in terrible pain.
"Well, goodbye Animalia Track and Field Competition." he said as he went up to the desk.
"What happened?" asked the receptionist.
"I hurt my back." said the patient.
"Probably from falling off the new rock climbing wall at the Claw Coliseum I bet." said the receptionist.
"No." said the patient.
"Trying to do 30 pull-ups with 30 pounds of weight chained to you waist?" asked the receptionist.
"No."
"Trying to do fifty pushups using only your index fingers?" guessed the receptionist.
"No."
"Trying to crawl up twenty flights of stairs while holding a foam Nerf Ball in your mouth?" guessed the Receptionist again.
"No." groaned the patient, "Flexing in front of a mirror."
"Ouch." winced the receptionist, while laughing at him inside as he checked him in. An injured ego, the hardest thing of all to treat."