Just as had been reported, the questions made no sense. Dillon's first question read, "Pick a food!", with the options being a Twinkie and a rice ball. Ordinarily, Dillon would've preferred the latter, but amongst his culturally close-minded friends chose the one they'd understand.
Clicking the Twinkie gave Dillon an odd sense of excitement as the other option faded from existence. Meanwhile, the next question appeared, asking, "Which makes the most sense?" The answers were simply a gossip magazine and a calculus textbook. Dillon was about to click the textbook until Johnathan stopped him.
"Wait, you might not wanna answer these correctly. If you say the textbook, these guys might realize you're smart and put a target on your back." Dillon nodded, understanding Jonathan's completely sound reasoning. The mouse quickly hovered over the magazine and before they knew it, the textbook was gone. The last question simply showed a baby carrot, a chili, and an eggplant followed by a question mark. The double meaning of the question never really dawned on the four theorists, having never had a gay thought in their lives. Instead, due to carrots being his favorite vegetable, Dillon's mouse hovered over the option for a split second before heeding Johnathan's advice and choosing the eggplant instead.
With all questions answered, the three chosen options came to the screen before swirling together and turning into what appeared to be a peach colored firecracker, which glided to the top corner of the screen.
"Wait, wasn't it supposed to give you a result?" Nicholas asked.
"It doesn't seem to want to for some reason. What's it waiting for?" Dillon thought aloud. William questioned the situation for a moment before motioning for Dillon to move and taking his seat. The moment he did so, a question began forming again.
"The thing recognized there were four of us, meaning that we probably all need to take the quiz before getting our result," William reasoned.
"Weird," Nicholas said, before returning his attention to William's first question. Showing simply a pole and a comb as the options, William simply picked the pole out of indifference. The result of answering caused a small pleasure spark in his groin, similar to what happened to Dillon, and it urged him to go on. The next question showed two sides of a coin with the phrase, "Pick a side!", hovering on top. This time, William somehow felt more invested in the quiz. He picked tails, as somehow the choice called to him and he wanted to win. He wasn't even sure if that was possible, but he was still going to try. The same jolt of excitement entered William as a result, convincing him he'd made the right choice.
The last question asked, "Which is better?" with two pictures of the same two people. In one, the two seemed to be arguing with each other while in the other, one of the characters was on his knees, accepting the others' punishment. Even though William knew he wasn't supposed to be answering the question legitimately, his haughty nature refused to let him submit to anyone, even in something so meaningless. As he moved towards his choice, however, he somehow misclicked on the latter option, causing the picture with the more submissive man to envelope the screen.
"Wait, what the fuck? I didn't wanna click that. Why won't it let me go back?!" William shouted as his answers swirled together on screen and turned into a purple and black firecracker that was placed next to Dillon's.
"Dude, what does it matter? The answers aren't supposed to be real anyways," Nicholas retorted. William, at a loss for words, simply got up to let Nicholas take his place. Just like before, the questions began appearing again. Unlike his other two friends, however, Nick cared very little about his answers. After all, they had gotten plenty of footage for his article and they just needed the results now. Due to this, he quickly clicked through his options. Before they knew it, pictures of a camera, a park and an odd glittery figure in a city had already begun swirling into a bright pink creation that had taken its place next to the other two firecrackers. Confusingly, Nicholas felt an odd sense of regret at not taking the quiz more seriously, as if he was missing out on an important opportunity.
As Johnathan had begun taking the quiz, questions of his own were going through his mind. Being the most curious when it came to conspiracy theories, Johnathan was sometimes considered the de facto leader of their little group. As a result, he had taken on a more quiet and reserved appearance. It gave him an authoritative and respected look (at least, however much you get when you were the leader of a conspiracy theorist group). The others still seemed slight uneasy when looking at the test, so it was up to Johnathan to be confident and uplifting. The first question appeared showing a pair of boxers and a speedo. Still trying to throw off the quiz, Johnathan promptly picked the speedo and moved on. Next, the question, "Which is best?", appeared along with pictures of party and a TV, so Johnathan confidently picked the party. Finally, the last question appeared, offering more information than any of the others. This one read, "Are you prepared to lead?" with a simple yes or no appearing. Even though he wanted to click "no" to misdirect the quiz as he had done with the last two questions, he felt compelled to answer this one correctly. As the final set of answers began swirling together, all the boys leaned in unconsciously, anxious to see the results. As soon as the last firecracker was made, each one took a different corner of the screen as the result text began appearing.
The four friends were shocked and disgusted at what the quiz had told them. In bright, flamboyant text it read the following:
"Congrats! All four of you got... The Twink!
The twink is the sluttiest and most flamboyant type of gay male. Never knowing the definition of "no", the twink spends his time taking care of every man's needs. While not necessarily a submissive (though most do often indulge in such pleasures), the twink offers up his ass to anyone and makes sure that any takers know that a twink will be as slutty as possible. After all, the only part of the twink that isn't slim and toned is his bubble butt, which is massive and the twink's best seduction weapon. No one can resist the twink's smooth and sexy body, especially because, in the few moments that a twink is not getting his cute butt stuffed, he's becoming as cute and flamboyant as possible. Of course, you all know all this, being the sluttiest of twinks yourself. So go on! Get out there and show the world how slutty you twinks are!"
The four friends were at a loss for words at the result. Johnathan, though creeped out beyond belief, was the first to speak up.
"Come on guys, be realistic. It's a website, it can't be right. This wasn't anything big, after all. Some faggot probably made this to get his rocks off, nothing else. Besides, there's no way in hell we fit this description. I mean, look at us." Johnathan reasoned, looking at his four friends. All of them were clearly too buff, muscled and hairy to be "twinks". Years of "understanding" conspiracy theories made them more than enough paranoid and the result was hard work at the gym to prepare themselves for what they considered to be the inevitable. While not overly muscled, they certainly didn't fit the definition that was on the computer. Each of the three boys let out slight chuckles and agreements about how paranoid they were being. Even this was too much for them to take seriously.
Just as it seemed all was clear, the peach colored firecracker began vibrating violently. As it did, Dillon felt his own dick vibrate in the same way and began moaning uncontrollably. The others looked at their friend in horror as he sunk to his knees in pleasure. Just as they were about to run, William and Nicholas's firecrackers began buzzing as well, causing the two of them to be lost in pleasure. Johnathan looked back the screen in horror as he saw their matching firecrackers vibrating, ready to blow. The text on the screen had changed into something much more ominous now. The last thing Johnathan could see before the pleasure washed over him was the words, "You don't believe me, do you? Don't worry, I promise you I'm right."
As the florescent blue firecracker that represented Johnathan got ready to burst, all four of the boys were in different states of pleasure. Either on their knees or completely on the floor, they were unable to even notice as the firecrackers burst in unison, causing the four of them to orgasm together, as well.
Passed out on the floor, their fates had been sealed.