Jared began to hear a voice in his head, a phenomenon that was getting distressingly familiar. The voice was feminine, melodious, even sexy. Unlike the sounds made by Wepwawet, and even Thoth and Anubis in their native forms, this sound seemed to come from an entirely human mouth.
"Mmmm, poor thing. Dogged, died, and dragged back to life! All in such a rapid fire manner, too! Although of course I can see how you would prefer the latter to the alternative, I certainly do."
Jared felt...decidedly confused. This was clearly not the response he had been expecting...so why were his canine instincts still screaming THREAT! THREAT! THREAT!? Why did every follicle of his fur feel like it was standing on end, his ears cocking back? Why did he have to stop himself from barring his fangs?
"I...uh...I'm sorry, are you Ammit?" he asked in his head.
"Oh! Oh, no no no, dear. She's the one attacking your car."
As if in response, Birdy jerked the car away from another white flash, trying to angle his way back to the highway.
"Not to distract you, Raphael..." said the driver.
"I know, I know! I'm having to fend them both off...Shit! This is too much, there must be a third, Wepwawet shouldn't be this strong and, to be entirely FUCKING frank, Ammit isn't supposed to be this smart!" said the young Latino, gripping the dashboard until his tattooed knuckles turned white. "We need back up!"
The feminine voice in Jared's head chuckled.
"No, dear boy. Ammit, poor thing, doesn't have much of what you would call a 'conversational personality'. You'll recognize her by the sensations of existential dread and sounds of bestial roars and the like. No, Jared, my name..."
He is overwhelmed suddenly with a sensation of lust and violence, and the image of a woman's dark, cruel eyes.
"...is Inanna. We among the so-called Old Gods don't have leaders, really, it's mostly a matter of who's strongest at any given time bullying the others. And right now, I'm the biggest bully on the block."
"...sooo...you're not here to help...?"
"Ahaha! Well, no. It's nothing personal, you understand. I don't hate you like Ammit."
Another white flash, another swerve. With a calm look belied only by the beading sweat on his brow, Birdy activates the car phone.
"Sarasvati, speed dial number nine."
"And I'm not insane like Wepwawet."
"Then...why?"
"For the war, poor thing. I'm afraid you're just the latest pawn in an ancient war between gods. It's nothing personal about me trying to keep you a dog and kill your brother. It's just business."
"WHAT?!"
Jared begins barking wildly.
BARK BARK BARK! "INANNA! She says she's going to kill Kevin!"
Raphael whips his head back to stare at Jared in shock, and Birdy genuinely snarls.
"You sky-riding bitch..."
The car phone suddenly connects...and the sounds of the song "Convoy" come through, severely breaking the mood.
"BREAKER BREAKER, This here is Gallows Rider calling Moon Bird! Moon Bird, do you copy? Over!" cries a rough, manly voice with a Minnesota accent.
Swerving to miss another white flash, Birdy laughs, catching Jared off guard.
"You're on a phone not a CB, Gwandolir!"
"That's no excuse not to ha' a lil fun, there, Moon Bird! Heard you got a bit of a bear problem!"
"Yes, we've got two bears on our donkey and a bear in the air!"
Jared just looks at Raphael, confused.
Bark? "Is this English?"
"...technically."
The voice from the phone barks out a laugh almost as canine as Jared's.
"We got your 20 off the magic mirror, we got the whole convoy en route to ya! ETA 10 minutes! Over and OUT!"
Elsewhere....
...in a place that is not...quite...material...
...A woman in cloth armor from an ancient time drags a whetstone across an axe blade. She admires her beautiful reflection in it, thinking fondly off the blood she soon hopes to see shed.
"Now," says Inanna, "the REAL fun begins..."