Jeff smirked as he read the document. He knew that one part of the syncing feature was legit, and now he had to test the other. He had to edit himself! Jeff decided to do something simple: change his name. Jeff scrolled up to "My name is Jeff," and made his change. He chuckled to himself while reading the edit. The sentence now read, "My name is Candy Cumdumpster!"
"If this works, it's gonna be hilarious," Jeff thought to himself. He hovered his mouse over to the toolbar, and hit save.
Candy blinked.
He stared at the screen for a couple seconds, and then scratched his head. Did it not work? He was pretty sure he did it correctly. Then, a realization hit him. He'd have no way of knowing if it worked unless if he got confirmation. Candy pulled out his driver's license, and sure enough, his name was "Candy Cumdumpster," just like always. He checked the contacts on his phone, and his name was Candy Cumdumpster there as well, along with his mother, Alison Cumdumpster and his father, David Cumdumpster.
Candy was getting frustrated. It would be such a waste of his time if this thing didn't work. He tried again, but with a different change: "I love the color pink. In fact, I'm obsessed with it! I love it so much, my hair is pink-not dyed, it just became pink because I love the color pink so much. And not just the hair on my head, either. ALL my hair is pink. Even my pubes!" He hit save.
Candy blinked.
He looked around his room, looking at his pink walls, his pink bed, and his pink computer. He shook his head, causing a lock of pink hair to fall in front of his face. He brushed it out of the way and sighed. "Damn it, I guess I'll have to keep trying."
Candy started typing and saving like wildfire. Several changes happened, but Candy didn't notice any of them. "I wear high heels-ONLY high heels." "I have Nicki Minaj's ass." "I wear female clothing, including panties." "I'm extremely gay, and I don't care who knows it." "I leave a trail of glitter wherever I go." "I have an extra pair of arms." "I am the CEO of a Fortune 500 company." "I talk like Yoda."
Candy finally had to stop when he got a phone call. He picked up his phone with his top pair of arms, while he used to bottom pair to close the Word document. Meanwhile, he used his second phone to check his company's stock. They were moving up, but the competition was still pretty fierce. Candy decided to stop thinking about that right now, seeing as his boyfriend was calling.
"Hey Candy, how's it going?" Candy's boyfriend, Andy, asked over the phone. "Busy, I am," Candy replied. "Fun, I want to have."
"Oh, do you want to hang out at the park? We can get some lunch or something-" "Sure!" Candy said, interrupting Andy. He was super eager to see him again, and, honestly, was thinking about getting into his pants later.
"Cool, I'll see you there," said Andy.
"See you there, I will," replied Candy. He hung up and got out of his char, his massive ass hitting the table as he did so. Candy sighed as he looked down at the Chronivac. "Work, this does not. A shame, that is." Candy walked over to the bathroom, while glitter swirled in the air around him. When he came back, he put on a take top and a pair of pink yoga pants. Candy crossed all four of his arms as he looked at the Chronivac. "Hmm...used only one function, I did. Give it another chance, I can?"
Candy decided to...