When I saw the old-white bearded guy with Latin tomes in his office it didn't take long to figure what was going on. I had never dealt with him before, but the Wizard, as he was known, was a legend in this business. Imagine Hugh Hefner with magical powers and no interest in anyone reading the magazine for the articles. If I had waited another month the whole office would have been staffed by hot bisexual nymphomaniacs.
I introduced myself and watched in amusement as he made a few discreet gestures and muttered a few syllables under his breath. He gave a disappointed look to find me unchanged. "That won't work" I said "It would take you six months to get past my magical wardings. Now, how about you tell me what's going on around here with 'Dusty Mounds'--sounds like your touch--and 'Frank Lidle.'
"I swear I had nothing to do with those two!"
"You mean to tell me that there are two complete magical transformations here--three counting the catgirl--and the third most powerful wizard in the world shows up and takes a bullshit job the same day, and that's all just a coincidence?"
"Third most powerful, right. The ranking commission has always had a grudge against me."
"Whatever. What happened here?"
"Why should I tell you?"
"You wanna spend the next aeon in mage court?"
Just then, I heard a whirring sound and a strange voice, halfway between mechanical and human female say "Don't hurt master!" It was coming from a strange amalgam of computer and hot woman (our friend at work again, no doubt, although computers weren't really his thing). Blended human-computer chimeras were something I had never seen a wizard do before, and I made a mental note to check on it later. "No one is hurting anyone" I answered. "Your master and I are just having a conversation." "It's OK, Penta" said the Wizard.
"So what's the deal?"
"Somebody here got their hands on one of these." He held up a gold pen.
"One of those?" I was shocked. A reality changing pen was one of the most powerful pieces of magic there was. A civilian getting their hands on it was dangerous, although fortunately civilians seldom used the magic they happen to stumble upon to do anything other than get rich and/or get laid.
"So who used it?"
"You should talk to Joe."
"OK. We'll talk some more later."
"Looking forward to it!" said the Wizard, with an absolute lack of sincerity.
One the way to Joe's office I ran into none other than Ms. Mounds herself, engaged in a tender kiss with Joe's secretary Jenny Jackson. They made a cute couple, but I wondered how much of it was them and how much of it was the pen.