Ethan read through the app description one more time: “Match4Match is the ultimate dating app which guarantees you’ll find a match on your first use! No wasting time swiping through partners – our software curates a match for you right away!”
It was a bold claim, and Ethan had no reason to believe it. But his experiences with other dating apps had left a lot to desire. There was always something about the apps, be it an inactive userbase, flaky men who ignored messages, or just being unable to get matches in general. Still, it didn’t change the fact that he was lonely and not particularly suited for going out and meeting other men in person. So he found himself browsing the dating app section of the store yet again when he came across Match4Match.
Notable about this app was that it has a nearly 5 star review, compared to some of the others that were more mixed. He read through the reviews, noting that people were raving about the app’s results, talking about how they had found “the one” through its algorithm. The only negative reviews were from users who technical difficulties, such as the app crashing on load. It was a bit weird to Ethan, maybe the reviews were paid for to have such consistency, but he figured what was the loss in using it?
He pressed the download button and confirmed his details, and then watched the progress bar as it displayed the app’s progress. He took this moment to self reflect. Ethan was certainly not an unattractive man, most people would say he was a bit above average. He worked full time at an office, and usually spent his weekends kicking back at home playing video games if he didn’t have extra work to do. He didn’t consider himself boring by any sense, but he didn’t fit in with the “circuit gays”. Ethan found that his problems with dating apps were that he was looking for a connection rather than something overtly sexual off the bat, which wasn’t too common among gay men in their mid-20s. Still, he clung to the constant hope that something would line up. After all, doing nothing would just guarantee that he remains single.
His phone chimed that the app had finished downloading. He opened the app, quickly, and got past the splash page which restated what he’d read on the store page about the curated matching system. It then sent him to a profile page, listing a bunch of stats. Oddly, it was already filled out and highly specific. Ethan flipped through the stats, at first seeing basic parameters: age, height, weight, hair color and the like. It was all filled out with his personal data already though. Maybe the app was pulling data from other sources?
He continued scrolling, seeing the parameters get even more invasive. There were slots for piercings, tattoos, foot size, and body hair. These were fairly normal, for the most part, but there was no way that they’d be filled out for him already. Despite this oddity, the data was accurate. As he kept scrolling he saw even more forms which should’ve entirely been private. His penis length, girth, and ball size was listed, and there was a section which even listed his fetishes and kinks! At the very bottom was the only unfilled section, an “about me” paragraph which needed a user prompt.
Ethan tried to exit the app, this was way too personal and he had no idea where the app had gotten his data. Upon clicking the home button on his phone though, the app responded with a popup: “Your Match has been found! Syncing profiles now.” Ethan’s mind went blank as he stared at his phone, the parameters adjusting.