"Time's up. You're getting both."
"Yeah, whatever. Just hurry up already. I'm gonna be late."
"You know something, Jen? I was gonna do something to you like make you into a mindless zombie or my slave, but then I realized that this is more fitting, but also with a small twist. For your transformation, at any random time when you're around a lot of people or someone important, like a teacher or your potential employer, OR whenever I ring this bell (he rings a bell), you will fall in a hypnotic trance. You will lose control of your arms and legs. They'll do whatever they can to get everyone's attention. When they do, you will pants yourself with everyone watching and then proudly parade yourself around or dance or whatever. Once that's done, you will snap out of the trance and people will laugh at you, be shocked, or be infuriated. And it can happen multiple times a day, even multiple times an hour.
"The twist is that each time you pants yourself, you slowly transform into a large, fat, blobby, gelatinous, slug alien in mind and body. By the time you're fully transformed, you will no longer have legs or bones or muscle, you will speak alien, you will have completely forgotten your old life, and you'll be abducted by other aliens; they will take you back to their planet far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, FAR AWAY from here. When you get on their ship, you will black out until you are in the palace of your new castle. While unconscious, you'll be injected with various chemicals; one will make you unable to age, another will make insusceptible to disease, another will make you extremely and permanently fertile, another will drastically speed up your pregnancies, so you'll be popping out alien babies every few seconds, if not every millisecond, and another will make you immortal, just as they are; their planet can hold an infinite amount of aliens, by the way, so don't worry about shooting out too many babies. You'll keep birthing babies, but in the back of your head, you'll feel like this isn't right. Also when you are abducted, everyone except for those friends who helped you pants me and I will forget you. Your friends will try to convince everyone else you exist, but they'll be locked in a mental hospital eventually. For your dare, you'll forget this conversation and the first time you pants yourself will be when you get on the bus. I know you're the very last stop AND that they're giving extra credit for students who ride the bus, something about saving the environment, so don't worry about not having an audience. Okay, that was a mouthful. Goodbye."
He hung up.