“Pizza delivery for miss uh...” he paused for a bit, probably looking for my name “uh… Nataska?” he seemed hesitant on the name. “No that can’t be right. Natasla? Natasha!” Oh how proud he was! I pressed my palm against my face, groaning.
“I’m here,” I spoke out, cringing at how high my voice sounded.
There was a moment of silence. The man seemed confused.
“Aren’t you going to open the door?”
I shut my eyes tight and hit my forehead. Think…
“I… I can’t, I’m ah… I’m naked!” I said without much inspiration.
I heard him shuffling where he stood and him muttering.
“This is it Tony, this is your moment. You accepted this job for this, don’t screw it up now.” My eyes widened. Was he aware that I could hear him? He took a deep breath. “Well, ma’am, I do believe I might have an extra… sausage… that I could offer you tonight.” My shoulders slumped down and my gaze grew dull. Was that the best one liner he had?
“No, no… I’m… I’m sick.” I easily lied, “I just got out of bed.” Why was I even still talking to him, I didn’t have to justify myself, did I?
“I see. How about I help you get back in and give you uh… a spoonful of my medicine?” Was this guy serious here? Well, the little voice muttered, you did tell him you were naked. Fair enough. Guess I had to take out the big guns then.
“I have herpes!” I shouted out, hoping against hope that the neighbours wouldn’t hear.
“It’s fine, so do I!” the man declared, almost proudly. My jaw dropped. Was he actually trying to bed me with herpes? What an ass!
“Natasha,” he said”, just open the door and I’ll guarantee you a good time.” his voice was low and tried to be soothing. All it managed to do was make me shiver in disgust.
“I… I have a boyfriend.” I finished lamely. “A big black guy with a huge dick.” What!, asked the little voice. I had blurted the last sentence with sudden inspiration. I could hear the delivery man’s breath catch and this time around, he didn’t have a comeback. I could almost hear his gears turning as he tried deciding whether or not I was telling the truth. I continued on :
“Look, you don’t seem like a bad guy and this is all just a big misunderstanding. Put the pizza on the ground and take the money under the thyme pot.” I closed my eyes as I heard him doing as I asked. “You can keep the change.” I declared, knowing full well what his next question would be. He didn’t say anything and walked off. I heard him stop to talk to someone on the sidewalk before the motorcycle’s revving and it taking off. I’d managed to shake him.