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Mad Science

A bottle of beer and the nerd

added 4 years ago BM I O Reality alteration

Curious about what would happen, Roy grabbed a bottle of beer from his fridge. He set it on a fridge near the window, pointed the device at it, and pressed the button.

Roy was expecting a flash of light, or maybe some momentary disorientation, but there was none of that. All that happened was, quietly and without any fuss, the nerdy girl replacing his bottle of beer.

It took Roy a few minutes to recover from his amazement, but he soon did and began to examine the girl. She had shrunk to the size of the glass bottle, and was nude except for a paper label wrapped around her torso. The label read 'Chloe Anderson' in large letters; Roy supposed that had been her name, and it was now her brand. Chloe was standing straight, with her arms at her side, her feet together, and a blank expression on her pretty face. She was perfectly still, not even appearing to breath. Cautiously, Roy reached out and picked her up. She was nice and chilly, just like a beer should be, and Roy noted that her skin had the texture of flesh, but was hard and inflexible. Turning Chloe over, Roy saw that the back of the label held information on her calories and serving size, as well as a small blurb about how she was brewed with only the finest Rocky Mountain spring water and premium hops. Roy also noticed, with some amusement, that she was apparently also available in Chloe Original, Chloe Lite, and Chloe Draft varieties. Turning her back over, he noticed a strange line around her neck; a few moment's experimentation revealed that her head unscrewed off her neck, revealing that her insides were filled with a strange-smelling beer. Roy was troubled by this; was he supposed to drink her? Roy shrugged and put that thought aside for the moment. After all, she was a bottle of beer now, not a human, and beers are for drinking.

Having finished his examination of Chloe, Roy put her back down on the table and went back to the window to see if he could find the beer that had taken her place. He was in luck, for there it was; Chloe had been headed out to her car to get something, but it was the beer bottle that was now returning inside. It was human-sized, of course, and wearing the clothes that formerly belonged to Chloe: black skirt and Battlestar Galactica sweatshirt. Its cap had a design printed on it that resembled the bun Chloe's hair had been in, and below that were the glasses, wedged around its neck, and the lipstick, bright red against the dark glass. It even still had the backpack, although Roy couldn't figure out what was holding it up. He couldn't see the tights or boots, presumably because the bottle didn't need them; it just slid smoothly along the pavement of the parking lot. The bottle looked empty, which made sense, as all the beer was in Chloe now. On its way back in to the building, the bottle was stopped by another girl, who Roy recognized as Chloe's roommate. He couldn't hear their conversation, of course, but Roy noticed that the other girl didn't seem at all confused or bothered by the fact that she was talking to a five-and-a-half foot glass bottle instead of a human girl.

Shaking his head in wonder at the strange power of the device, Roy sat down at the table and gazed at Chloe while he pondered his next move. On one hand, he really should be getting to work by now. On the other hand... now that he had this device, work didn't seem really important anymore. Maybe he should call in sick, and see what else this device could do. And then, there was a part of him that really wanted to know what Chloe tasted like...


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