Showing the Nozdrins around Animalia was actually quite easy. With just one phone call, they were able to reserve a tour trolley, even though most of them were "booked to capacity". But fortunately there was one specially made for Animalia Ambassadoria, and after that the tour went on just fine.
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"What is clearly the most popular attraction, especially at this time, is the Meat Market." said the tour guide, "It's Animalia's only major gentleman's club (as some call it)."
"Why would such a thing be popular?" asked Mrs. Nozdrin.
"Mainly because of how well 'shaped' Animalians tend to be, in a matter of speaking." said the tour guide, before moving on.
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"Most of the amateur sports of the IAC will be taking place in and around Claw Coliseum, which is coming up right now." said the tour guide.
"Невероятный." said Mr. Nozdrin
"Just a quick heads-up," said the tour guide, "Don't be surprised if an air-raid siren sounds during your daughter's events. The size of the shotputs, etc. are much larger than what humans use, and as was occasionally seen, the right training can turn such things into lethal weapons. But don't worry," reassured the tour guide, as Mr. and Mrs. Nozdrin flinched, "no one was ever killed, it was just a few near misses."
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"One of the runaway successes, at least in Animalia, was the creation of the Ice Haus, for the more artic Animalians." said the tour guide, "Their specialty is 'cold foods, cold drinks, cold swims'."
"What happens during the winter?" asked Mrs. Nozdrin.
"When the Ice Haus closes down for the winter, the Brumation house, for all the cold-blooded Animalians, opens up.
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"... but don't think that all the IAC sporting events will be taking place here." said the guide, as Mr. and Mrs. Nozdrin got off at their hotel where they were staying. "Events that take place mainly at the beach will be filmed on site at Mieni Atoll, which is one of Animalia's colonies."
"'Colony?'" asked Mr. Nozdrin.
"Not all Animalians have the same biological 'needs'," answered the tour guide. "For example, some fish Animalians require salt water to survive, while others need fresh water."
After that, there was plenty to think about. But fortunately the PR-MD offices managed to gather some relatively new clips of epic fails to entertain them.
One was where one guy attempted to show off his toughness for a sparrow Animalian by forward flipping and landing on his back in the middle of a cactus pile. What made it even funnier was the reaction to the stunt.
"That doesn't show off toughness," said the sparrow Animalian, "That just shows off stupidity."
Another clip showed one of the events at Mieni. It was officially called "The Mieni Atoll IAC Pros Vs. Joes Surf Competition". It was more about fun than winning, but that didn't mean that there was some funny fails going on. The one that was shown showed one of the "Joes" in the competition clearly doing well during the "warm-ups", but when he decided to pose for a female Animalian on the beach, his board began to wobble. It was at this point that everyone knew that things weren't going to end well, which was confirmed when he wiped out a few seconds later.
The announcer asked for 'a moment of silence for him, please...', which Susan and Tzan gladly gave him (while clearly laughing at him on the inside), which was followed up by the announcer somewhat yelling "And we keep it moving people!"
"Какой идиот!" said Mr. Nozdrin, to which Mrs. Nozdrin simply nodded.