"Didja hear that?" Murph said slowly.
"Hear wha?" Bob asked taking another hit on his joint.
"C'mon, Bob," Murph said standing up. He motioned for Bob to follow.
The two stoners came upon the translucent golden statue, which was Chad.
"Whoa, Bob, look at this. It's a naked statue of that football guy- uh, um. Whasshissname!"
"You sure it's not him?"
"Who?"
"Chud?"
"Nah, his penis bigger."
He flicked his index finger against Chad's resin coated penis.
"Bigger than that?"
"Yeah. Lots, I saw him in the locker room."
"Oh, he kinda reminds me of the tin man from the wizard of Ahhs."
"Oz?"
"That's what I said."
Voices? Chad couldn't see them but he heard them and felt the fingernail flick his petrified penis. He shouted unintelligibly, "Hllpmuh!"
"Whoa, he is like the Tin Man, he wants oil," said Bob.
"Here it is buckets of the stuff and paintbrushes to coat him with it!" Murph said grabbing a brush and dunking it in the resin lube.
"Nuhuh,nuh,"Chad hissed through his lips.
Splash, right across his face sealing his lips.
"We're helping," Bob said excitedly grabbing another brush and adding a coat.
"We need tunes to paint by," Murph said streaming music from his phone that masked Chad's muffled screams.
"And more weed," said Bob lighting another joint.
Slosh, splash. Splish, splosh.
Coat after coat of resin made Chad shine like a golden Oscar statuette.