“Hold my beer, I gotta piss.” Clarence commanded right before unbuckling his belt.
“Yeah, sure... Want me to hold your cock as well?” His obese friend, Steve, said with sarcasm. “You’re wasted, I don’t trust you to aim your breeding tackle without making a mess of yourself.”
The fat man wasn’t entirely wrong. Clarence’s face was colored brightly red from drinking so much but the redhead deemed the offer very detrimental to his heterosexuality so he decided to decline politely.
Clarence headed towards some nearby trees, Steve tailing him close behind.
“...You know, you don’t need to stay so close to me when I’m going to piss.”
“Yes, I do. I need to take a whiz as well.” Steve replied.
“Then go find your own tree! There’s hundreds around!”
“But it’s not like this tree has your mark on it!”
Clarence dropped his pants and undies to the ground and let his huge schlong blurt out a torrent of urine unto the tree. “Now it does!” Clarence stated proudly, his buttocks bared to the nocturnal air. But you couldn’t expect Steve to back out from this manly confrontation. “Oh, yeah? And what do you think of this?” He said as he wiped out his own weaponry and peed.
Clarence laughed. “What do I think of what? Your tiny baby dicklet?”
“It’s not tiny, it’s just that my pubic hair is too long...”
“Riiiiight.”
As both men pissed with their pants down, Steve broke the silence. “Mind if I take a sip from yours?”
“Wha...?! Oh, I didn’t know you were into that, but if you insist...”
“Thanks man.” And Steve drank the rest of Clarence’s beer.
“Oh, you meant to drink from THAT...!”
“Of course, what else?”
THUMP! The two drunks were surprised by the sound of something stomping into a tree nearby.
“Who’s there?!” Steve cried out. “I swear, if it’s some pervert we’ll call the police!”
“...Maybe you shouldn’t say something like that while your itty bitty dicky is exposed.”
“Oh, right.”
Both men pulled their pants up. They awaited a response from the intruder, but they didn’t receive any.
“Maybe it’s just a dog.” Clarence whispered.
“Or even worse, a squirrel!” Steve yelled with clear distress.
Clarence was about to ask him why he hated animals that much, but then he heard a fart.
“Dude, control yourself a little!” He reprimanded Steve.
But Steve denied it all. “I thought that had been you!”
Clarence and Steve glanced at each other, and then at the nearby bush. There definitely was something in there.
The slim redhead approached the bush with caution. He was sure he was going to get bitten by whatever was in there, but with so much alcohol on him he was feeling adventurous.
Steve stayed back, providing substantial support by cheering him on.
Clarence ignored his friend’s cowardice and pulled the bushes apart. And he couldn’t believe what he saw when he did.
***
Jack’s world was spinning. Whatever had hit him, it had rendered him barely conscious. Where was he? Everything was dark! He tried to blink and refocus his eyes but instead of recovering his vision he only managed to make a farting-like sound. Weird.
He tried to move. He felt branches and leaves bruising against his bare body... Was he naked? No, it felt worse than that. He felt extremely sensitive and vulnerable all over. His sense of touch was extremely heightened, like anything that touched him was touching the most sensitive part of his body. A body part he himself had never touched. A body part where the sun had never shined.
His movements felt very restricted. He could shift his mass around but nothing else seemed to respond. Not his arms, not his legs, nothing.
Considering that if he moved the branches and leaves would further touch his overly exposed body, Jack decided to remain still. But it was futile, even the most feeble air breeze felt like a painful violation of his insides. Jack was thoroughly scared. If his body was fated to remain this sensitive for the rest of his life, he’d rather live secluded in the most secure place for the rest of his days.
But of course, that didn’t happen. Instead, the branches and leaves that were so eager to protect him were forcefully removed and in their place a man’s huge face loomed over Jake.
And the face wasn’t even that pretty to look at. It belonged to an extremely drunk redhead, his cheeks red thanks to the booze and translucent drool hanging from his lips.
As if that weren’t enough to scare Jack shitless, the huge face began to laugh and point at him, not believing what his eyes were seeing. The drunk man seemed to think that Jack’s pitiful existence was something worth mocking and laughing over. The giant reached over for poor little Jack with a huge claw of a hand. Jack wanted to plead for help, scream in fear, anything, but as the hand enveloped him only a loud fart could be heard coming out from the anus of the sentient ball of flesh known as Jake.
***
“Look, Steve! This is hilarious! It farted again!” Clarence said proudly. “I don’t know yet if it’s a joke item or a sex toy, but damn, it’s really well-made!”
“Let me have a closer look at it, you’ve been squishing it for fifteen minutes already!” Steve complained.
Clarence petted the little fleshy ball like it was his little precious treasure... Then he squished the round thing once again, causing its realistic asshole to fart in the process.
“Hahahaha!” Clarence laughed like a kid who had gotten his hands on a brand-new toy. “This is amazing! It makes the best stress ball, like a little portable guy’s asshole you can squeeze and squeeze until you feel better!”
“C’mon, let me play with it!” Steve reached over for the pink ball but Clarence expertly juggled the ball by making it bounce against the hard ground.
“Wow, I just noticed it even sweats when you squeeze and bounce it this much! There's so much attention to detail!”
Clarence then smiled mischievously. "But you know, Steve. I can’t really wait to get home.”
“And why’s that?” Steve asked, his out of shape body still trying to get a grasp of Clarence’s new toy.
“Because... I mean... Just look at this thing! Yes, it’s an asshole, but take a closer look at it... It’s very pale, pearly white I’d say, as if this precious had never seen the outside light before. It’s soft, very very soft. Yet, it feels tight. Brand-new. Young. Shy. Inexperienced. A delicate flower, awaiting a stud to bring it into new worlds... Yes... There’s no doubt about it, this sex toy is designed after the anus of a virgin female!” Clarence declared as if he had made the discovery of the century.
“You sure of that? It looks a bit too hairy to be a chick’s asshole.”
“I really doubt you have seen enough female buttocks in the buff before, Steve.”
“Fair enough.” Steve admitted. “But why wait? It’s 3 in the morning and nobody’s around in the park, not to mention I’m horny as hell. I dare you to fuck this thing here and now... And afterwards I want to have a go at it, too.”
“You’re really interested in seeing me whack off, don’t you?” Clarence felt disgusted. “No way I’m doing that just to win some quick bucks.”
“Fifteen bucks, to be exact.”
“Deal!”