The fact that he was bone-idle lazy was one of Randy Standish's characteristics that drove his parents around the bend.
Now, the teenager's preference to take the easy way out of any situation offered his brother, first transformed into a jockstrap and now trapped in the form of a common raccoon, a glimmer of hope. Before Randy even merged the truck onto the highway for the thirty-minute drive to the state park, he took a detour and drove instead to a city park located near the city's high school.
He saw trees and knew that a stream ran through the nearby woods and fields. "A raccoon should be just as happy here as all the way out at the state park," Randy said aloud.
He pulled the truck into a parking area, unfastened his safety belt, and reached for the pet carrier. He heard the occupant produce an odd, insistent chittering.
"Calm down, boy," Randy told the agitated animal without a clue that he was speaking to his own older brother. "We'll get you out of that cage so you can frolic and scamper with all your little forest buddies."
Ryan stared through the bars and wondered what moronic cartoons his brother had watched as a kid. Hell, knowing Randy, he was probably still watching them.
Randy opened the cage, but the raccoon refused to exit. Ryan figured if he didn't leave the cage, Randy would have no choice but to take him back home.
"Come on," Randy said, lifting the cage and tilting the open entrance toward the parking lot, "get the hell out of the cage." He finished by banging on the walls of the cage until a frazzled raccoon dropped heavily onto the asphalt on all four paws. The animal swayed and looked somewhat uncoordinated as it struggled to regain its footing.
"Go on, little raccoon," Randy said, still holding the cage in his arms. "You're free!"
"You're a moron!" Ryan thought.
Randy watched as the masked raccoon simply stayed put and stared at him with dark beady eyes. "You're starting to creep me out, little raccoon dude," Randy said. He put down the carrier and reached for a branch of a nearby tree. He wrenched the thin branch from the tree and brandished it at a suddenly terrified Ryan.
"Shoo!" Randy said.
Ryan felt the whoosh of air as Randy lashed the tree branch over his head. "You freakin' idiot! It's me! Your brother!"
Randy heard the raccoon make more of the strange twittering. "Whatever! You're on your own. Have a nice life, raccoon dude."
Ryan watched in dismay as Randy walked back to the truck. He scampered toward him and wrapped his four limbs around his brother's boot and pant leg. Randy freaked out when he thought the raccoon was attacking him. He screamed and grabbed the animal by the scruff of the neck.
"Put me..." Ryan started to say when he felt himself flung toward the nearby trees. He crashed into limbs and leaves, which lashed at his furry raccoon body. By the time he tumbled onto the leaf litter and recovered from the shock of being hurled through the air, he heard Randy start the truck's engine. He made it back to the parking area just in time to see Randy and the truck disappear onto a busy street.
"Crap!" Ryan thought as the nearby woods loomed darker. "What am I going to do now?"