John was a bit surprised one day to find a large square package by the door to his apartment, with no return address. He'd lived alone here for years, kept to himself, and didn't generally receive any gifts. Curious, he took it inside to open it, finding a note, a flier, and a small assortment of cheap looking junk.
The note, at least, had a familiar signature at the bottom.
"Hey John! It's been way too long! This is your old roommate Dave. I found this really wild store last month, selling stuff that'll really change your life, and they had this odd referral program going on. I figured you helped me out of a few jams back in college, so it's only fair I finally try to repay that. You should be getting a box like this about every other week for uh... I think it was a year. Hope you have some fun!"
Well, that at least explained where this had come from, but what was the idea in sending him all this garbage? Turning next to the flier...
"Congratulations on your subscription to the Fantastic Emporium's Loot Crate program! While we sell countless magical items in person, we only have so much space on our shelves, so we've begun sending the most curious curiosities straight to your door! If you enjoy any of the products in your first crate, they are yours to keep. If anything fails to tickle your fancy, simply place it back in the crate, leave it in the box two weeks from when it arrived, and we'll safely dispose of it without any fuss when we deliver the next batch. Happy experimenting!"
John still didn't quite no what to make of this. Magic tricks? Party favors? It did all look extra cheap. Rummaging around, there seemed to be a cheap dayglow digital watch, a pink plastic ring with a fake blue jewel on top, a flimsy pair of sunglasses with star-shaped lenses, 3 big primary colored tablets... some sort of pills, or maybe they were more like those weird old toys where you soak them in waterand they dissolve to leave some dinosaur sponge. Kids' junk.
Still, John figured he may as well give at least one of the items a onceover before chucking the box away...