It was well after midnight when I could hear Aaron snoring and the rest of the house had quieted down.
My mother and father had a big fight when Dad came home from the bar after saying he was too sick to go to work. Mom didn't get in till 9:00 but Dad didn't get home till just before midnight. I was afraid the fight would go on for hours but it didn't and it was soon quiet downstairs. Mom and Dad's bedroom is on the first floor. The second floor has two bedrooms and a bath. I used to share the second bedroom, which is largest, with Gary until he died. Aaron had the smaller room at the front of the house. Our rooms had a hallway between but we learned as younger kids that we could also get to each other's room by going through the closets and behind the walls. This had come in very useful when we were locked in our rooms for some mischief. I shouldn't say "we" because it was always just me really.
I had been waiting just behind his closet for about fifteen minutes when I heard him start to snore and I knew he was asleep. I slipped into the closet and then quietly into his room. There was light coming in from the window. As I told you, Aaron's room is on the front of the house and there was a streetlight that always left Aaron's room in a kind of soft light at night. Me, I like it real dark to sleep. But it never seemed to bother Aaron.
I began talking again very softly, and it wasn't long before the snoring shifted to a heavy breathing and then a shallow breathing. His eyes began to flutter again and it had taken less than half the time as the night before.
"Your body is very light. You can sit up on the edge of the bed without waking. God wants to have a talk with you."
Smoothly, he rose up and sat still on the side of the bed.
"The sound of my voice is relaxing you more and more. Nothing will wake you unless I tell you to awake. Do you understand?"
"And who is speaking?"
"God."
"And whose voice am I pretending to use?"
"Chris's"
"But is it Chris speaking?"
"No."
"Then who is it?"
"God."
"Very good, Aaron. I have chosen you and I will make you very important." God, I was excited again and I wanted a cigarette so bad. "And what is it that you have to do, Aaron?" I continued.
"Whatever you tell me to do."
"Good. I gave you a gift yesterday, didn't I, Aaron?"
Aaron looked confused and a frown crossed his brow.
"I told you that you would enjoy something very much and it would help you in making you important."
"Yes. Smoking."
"And did you want to smoke today, Aaron?"
"Yes. A lot."
"And do you still want to smoke, Aaron?"
"Yes."
"How much did you smoke today, Aaron.?"
"Three cigarettes."
"Where were you when you smoked them?"
"At the park before and after school... and at lunch."
"Was anyone with you?"
"No."
"Were you afraid to be seen smoking, Aaron?"
"Yes."
"Aaron. I will give you another gift, now. You will no longer be afraid of anyone seeing you smoke. When I touch you on the forehead I will lift away any fear you have. In fact, you are proud that you smoke. You see nothing wrong in it. You don't care who knows - it won't stop you from smoking." I put my hand on his forehead and pushed hard. "In fact, you get very angry when people tell you not to smoke - you don't like that at all. They are just people who don't want you to have fun and you hate them for that. Do you understand?
"Yes."
"And are you afraid any more?"
"No."
"And you want a cigarette very bad, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Where did you get your cigarettes today?
"I bought a pack..."
"And?"
"I stole one from Chris's room."
"Does that make you feel bad, stealing from Chris?"
"Yes. But I needed one."
"How did you know where he kept them?"
"I went through his dresser a few weeks ago looking for magazines."
"What magazines?"
"The Playboy I caught him reading."
"And did you find it?"
"Yes."
"And what did you do with it."
"Read it."
Right. Here was a side of big brother I didn't know about!
"Aaron, you are going to have to make it up to Chris for the stealing of the cigarette and the magazine. From now on Chris can do nothing wrong in your eyes. You will be his protector. This is God telling you to do this. Do you understand?"
"Yes. His protector."
"You would do anything for him, wouldn't you?"
"Yes."
"And you want a cigarette very badly, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Where do you hide your cigarettes, Aaron?"
"In my top desk drawer."
I reached over to his desk and opened the top drawer. I took out the pack and pulled out a cigarette and lit it. In the dim light you could see the smoke swirling.
"You can smell the cigarette now. How badly do you want it, Aaron?"
"Very..."
"And what will you do for a cigarette now...?" I took another drag and blew the smoke into his face. God, this was exciting. "If I let you have a cigarette now what will you do for it?"
"Anything."
"I'm going to give you the cigarette now, Aaron, and you will listen very closely to what I want you to do. Remember, if you do these things you will become a very great person.". I handed him the cigarette. Even with his eyes closed he seemed to enjoy the cigarette. He drew on it like he had been smoking for years and puffed at it hungrily.
"The cigarette is relaxing you, isn't it, Aaron."
"Yes."
"You smoke a lot now, Aaron. How much do you need to smoke in a day now?"
"I don't know. A lot."
"Is a half a pack a day a lot, Aaron?"
"I don't know. I guess so."
"But you need more than half a pack, don't you?"
"...Yes."
"How much do you smoke each day, Aaron?"
"A pack?"
"Yes. That's right. And what happens if you don't smoke a pack a day, Aaron?"
"I don't know."
"God will have to punish you, Aaron, because you won't be able to identify with those who need to smoke... like your brother, Chris."
"Punish... ?"
"Yes. Any day that you don't smoke a full pack, you will... start becoming dumber...uh, less smart... find yourself doing very poorly at school."
"At school..."
"Are you enjoying that cigarette, Aaron."
"Yes." He took another deep drag.
"You promised God that you would do anything for that cigarette. Well, here it is. I simply want you to make friends with a junior at your school by the name of Pepper Conklin. Repeat that name for me."
"Pepper Conklin."
"That's right. You can find him each day in the Smoking Yard at school. He needs a friend very badly. But he may not like you at first because you two are so different. You must work at making him like you, becoming like him as much as possible. Then you will be able to understand him and help him. Do you understand?"
"Not really." The frown again.
"What is bothering you?"
"How can I help him?"
"I will explain all that in time. For right now I just want you to work at becoming like him so he will trust you. It doesn't matter what other people say about this friendship or if other people do or don't like him. He is going to become your model until you are close friends. Do you understand?"
"I'll be like Pepper Conklin."
"And you do you always protect?"
"My brother, Chris."
"And how much do you smoke?"
"A pack a day."
"I'm going to take your cigarette from you now." A frown again. "You still want a cigarette very badly, so in exactly ten minutes you will wake up because you can't sleep, and you will take your cigarettes into Chris's room and wake him up and ask him if he wants a smoke. You feel very sorry for taking his cigarettes, and you feel very protective of him. Next to Pepper Conklin he will be your best friend."
"Best friend."
"I want you to lie down now. Me... your God... is going to leave now. You are feeling very relaxed, but in ten minutes you will be wide awake and you will want a cigarette and will go to Chris' room. When you are awake you will remember none of my talking to you. Oh, yes. The next time I want to talk to you I will use Chris's voice and I will say: "The Lord be with you." When you hear Chris's voice saying that, you will immediately fall into a sleep even deeper than you are now and I will be able to talk to you. What are the words that will put you to sleep only when Chris's voice says them?"
"The Lord be with you."
"That's right. Get some rest now. In ten minutes you will be wide awake thinking how much you need a cigarette. Good night, Aaron."
"Good night, God."
I slipped back into my room and got under the covers. It seemed like a very long ten minutes but soon I heard Aaron creeping into my room.
"Chris. You awake?"
I pretended waking up and then sat up in the bed. Aaron sat on the trunk next to the bed.
"Hi. Sorry to get you up. I thought you might still be awake because of the fight downstairs."
"No," I said. It didn't last as long as it usually does."
"Look," Aaron said, "I did something this morning that I'm not too proud of and I want to make it up to you. I took one of your cigarettes this morning."
"You did what!" I said, feigning shock. "You don't smoke!"
"Yeah, I started smoking a while back and I really needed one this morning so I took it and I'm sorry. I bought my own today. Do you want one?"
"Sure," I said. "I can't believe you smoke. My perfect brother! What'll Mom and Dad say if they find out."
Suddenly Aaron's face got very red. "I don't give a shit if they find out. I'm almost eighteen now. I can do what I want." He pulled out two cigarettes, handed one to me and then pulled out a beautiful new Zippo lighter, lit mine and then his.
"Wow. Nice lighter." I said.
"Yeah. I picked it up today." He took a drag on his cigarette. "I hate it when Mom and Dad fight."
"Me, too," I said.
"By the way," he suddenly looked serious, "they called again from school today. Did you skip out again?"
"Just the afternoon classes. I couldn't deal with those idiots today."
"I'll write you a note and sign it from Mom and say that you weren't feeling well. If I hand it in, old Mrs. Columbo'll believe it."
"You'd do that for me?" I said.
"Sure," Aaron said, looking hurt, "we brothers have to stick together. We're best friends, aren't we?" He smiled a big sincere smile and took a drag on his cigarette. I almost puked!