When I woke up, my body insisted that I stretch my arms out. As I did that, they bumped into something. I opened my eyes, and it was the same toddler as yesterday: Charlie.
Out of slight shock, I accidentally fall out of bed, which woke him up too.
“Why are you a toddler again?!”
“Because me likey”
“Well don’t lay naked on my bed! Get some damn clothes on!”
He moved to the edge and hopped off the bed. I saw him walk out of my room and into his with shame.
“Jesus, that idiot shouldn’t have used the damn machine again” I whispered to myself.
“Bubba!” Charlie yelled across the hall. It was a nickname I haven’t heard in years, even from him.
“Yea?” I yelled back.
“Me need help!”
“With what!”
“Diapee!”
I groaned all the way to his room, which now was an even bigger mess than before this machine came along. Diapers everywhere, baby powder all over his bed and furniture. It was as if a baby tornado came through. And on the middle of the floor is the machine, with an interestingly new screen:
Age: 15
New age: 3
Clothes alteration: No
Potty trained: no
Speech alteration: very little.
I looked at it for a second, and changed the age from 3 to 6, and the only thing that went away was potty trained option.
“Get over here Charlie!”
He came out of his closet with a diaper on his head and baby powder almost everywhere neck down.
“You left my room for five seconds, and this whole mess was made?!”
“I’m sorry bubba”
“Just... Just lay down so we can get you diapered!”
He lays down on the floor and started to suck his thumb. I grab a nearby diaper, unfolded it, and did the normal procedure we do for our actual baby brother. Only problem is: the diaper is too small.
“Your baby fat is too big for baby diapers. Should we make you an actual baby?”
At this point, Charlie started to cry. “No I promise I’ll be a big boy and clean my room and be nice and help around the house! Just don’t make me a baby!”
It was kinda funny to see him start to beg like that, but something in me felt bad for this crying toddler. I took off the diaper from his head and started to rub his back. “Look, I was joking. Sorry for making you scared like that.”
“Really?”
“Yes really. Now how about you hand me another diaper and we can test something out!” He scurries over to the bed and grabs a diaper and hands it to me.
I grab the machine and change the six back to a three, but I made sure the option for clothes change was on ‘yes’, and I shot it at the diaper.
Slowly, it grew in size and changed its design for a more childish style than the baby one. “Alright, lay back down!” Charlie lays back down and goes back to sucking his thumb. I redid the process, and this time the diaper fit.
“Snug as a bug on a rug” I tell him as I did the finishing touches to the diaper tapes. He giggled a little, and saw the work I did. “Thank you!”
“No problem. Now you do know we don’t have infinite diapers right?” He nods his head to me in response.
“You do know how much they cost right?” He shakes his head no.
“Well, lets just say that this baby thing won’t last long. And the diapers are coming out of your wallet!” Surprisingly enough, he scurried to his dresser and gave me his wallet.
“Ok, I’ll go get some diapers for you. While I’m gone, only clean what you can reach. I’ll be back and I’ll help you clean the baby powder!” He nods his head once more, and I walked out of the house.
At the store, I was welcomed with open arms by the owner behind the grill who I know as a coworker. We shook hands, and started a small conversation.
“So, how’s your little brother?”
“He’s alright. Just extremely childish today.”
“Why’s that compadre?”
“He offered to babysit his little crush’s brother, thinking it’ll show that he’s a good father so that they can be together till marriage.” That’s a good enough lie right?
My coworker laughed as he continued to cook what looked like some sausage. “Your little bro is a little special in the head sometimes.”
“Tell me about it.” I started to slowly move off towards the diaper aisle, “anyways, he wanted me to buy some spare diapers just in case.”
“You know what to buy right?”
“No clue man.”
I’m not sure what he did, but it looked like he put the food he was cooking on the side and came out the side door. “Mira hijo, you’re gonna have to learn these things before you even have a kid. Don’t you have a baby brother?”
“Yea, but the only thing involving me and his diapers are changing him and throwing them away.”
“Well, you need to learn sizes so that you can buy some once he runs out!”
“Alright, I see your point. Now how would I know this kid’s size.”
“How old is he?”
“Charlie said he just turned three recently”
“Alright, how much did he weigh?”
“Not too sure about that one”
“Ok listen here, you take these and figure out if they fit on that boy. If they’re too big, get a size smaller, and if they’re too small get a size bigger.” He handed me a pack of diapers with dinosaurs and the number “4” on the pack.
“Thank you. I’ll be back if they aren’t right.”
“Take care compadre!”
I went to the cash register and used Charlie’s money to pay for the diapers. Then carried them back home.
At the house, everything looked normal until I reached Charlie’s room. Inside I saw