Jason was bored. He was sitting at the food court in the local mall waiting for his friend Will to get out of the new horror movie. They’d come to the mall together to see the film but Jason had forgotten his wallet and they wouldn’t sell him a ticket to the R rated movie without identification. It really sucked that he looked so young for his age. Jason had tried to buy a ticket to a different movie but an usher had caught him and thrown him out.
Needing to kill three hours waiting for Will he had wandered the mall but besides the weird magic shop nothing had really caught his interest. He had ended up at the food court. While eating he decided to check out the app he had seen advertised in the magic shop. It had a very detailed interactive map. Straight up NSA levels of spy stuff. It was kind of scary. He poked around the menu and selected the man standing behind the counter of the Taco Bell kiosk. He decided to see what generating a sentence would do. It read: “this bored clean-shaven man is the manager of this restaurant.”
Jason wondered about the change one word clause. Obviously he didn’t believe it would actually change reality (talk about an overpromise!) but he wondered if it would use the camera app to show him what the guy might look like if he was different.
He changed “clean-shaven” to bearded and confirmed the change. He looked at the manager and his jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out. The man behind the counter now had a bushy beard. Jason rubbed his eyes. Was he seeing things? Was he just misremembering? Had the man always had a beard? He generated another sentence. It read “this well built bearded man is trying to stay positive during a slow period at work.” He decided to change man to woman.
Behind the counter of the Taco Bell now stood a well built woman who appeared in her mid twenties. She had generous breasts and a nice figure. She also had a bushy beard that made her stand out in the crowd.
The woman absent mindedly scratched her beard. Jason leaned back in his chair and pondered the opportunity at his fingertips. This was going to be fun.
He finished his meal and glanced at his watch. It would be another 45 minutes before Will got out of the film. He decided to change the employee back and find some fun. But the sentence he got wasn’t helpful. It read “She is the manager and she is thinking about shaving her beard.” Jason tried changing “she” to “he” but got an error. “WARNING: change requires edit of three words in sentence - ‘she’ x 2 and ‘her’ x 1. Upgrade to full version for $100000 to edit multiple words (up to four) or pay in app fee of $5000 for each extra word.”
Jason didn’t have that kind of money and even if he did he didn’t want to pay that much on a strangers behalf. Oh well, he thought, at least I can make her less of a freak. He instead changed “beard” to “legs.” The beard was still there. Jason pondered the situation. I guess I only changed her thoughts, he concluded. He tried another sentence. “The bearded woman is on her period.” He roles his eyes. He changed woman to man and got another error.
WARNING: change requires edit of two words in sentence - ‘woman’ x 1 and ‘period’ x 1. Upgrade to full version for $100000 to edit multiple words (up to four) or pay in app fee of $5000 for each extra word.”
Fuck this. He changed ‘bearded’ to ‘bubbly.’ The woman behind the counter now looked far more energetic. Good enough, Jason thought. He wandered off looking for a new target.