Luke dropped down his suitcase with a heavy sigh. Then, he stretched his arms and rolled his shoulders. Damn, today had been hell at work. His workers had demanded another raise. Like the company he'd built himself could afford that. At least, Dale would be home and they could share a nice supper together. However, when he closed the door behind him and called "I'm home!", no one answered.
Frowning, Luke stripped of his coat and unbuttoned his shirt, tossed his shoes and loosened his tie. Once he was a bit more comfortable, he pulled out his phone and noticed that Dale HAD sent him an email, probably about his absence. No object line, but whatever, they never used them.
"Attention," the message read, "if you do not follow these instructions exactly, you will find yourself cursed to turn into your dick in fifteen minutes."
Luke snorted. One of those, huh? Send this email to all your contacts and get very rich, don't and you will suffer terrible bad luck. He couldn't roll his eyes hard enough. That kind of chain email only ever got the super guillible, superstitious crowd. At least, this one had an original curse in it. No vague "beware the third eye" crap. Just a one zinger of a dark fate if he failed to satisfy the troll gods.
Despite himself, his brain took that second to wonder what it *would* be like to be transformed into his own penis. The idea was just strange enough to get stuck in his head. Dale must have thought he'd mess with him, maybe make him smile when he returned from work.
Where WAS Dale anyway? The kitchen and the bedrooms looked empty, and the TV wasn't lit. A bit annoyed, he went to the fridge and got himself a beer, then settled down at the table. Dale really hadn't sent anything else than a dumb chain email? Just that one message, from like, an hour ago? He couldn't have planned to leave for very long then. So, resigned but seeing nothing else to it, Luke decided to browse on his phone for the local news. Nothing much of interest there.
"Come on, Dale," Luke groaned, letting his forehead hit the table. "I was looking forward to a good lazy night together. I just wanna suck you, man!"
Luke blinked as he heard a faint little spurt of liquid on the floor. Had Dale spilled something and forgotten to clean it up? It wouldn't be the first time. Luke's mind had consciously started to try and pick up the early signs of any small domestic disaster. It felt like droplets of water hitting the balcony glass doors. It had been sunny, earlier.
Curious, he rose and went to doublecheck the living room. And no, Dale wasn't playing, but his laptop was on sleep mode and some of his clothes laid on the ground. "A dildo?"
That couldn't be a 'surprise'. It didn't felt like one. The resemblance to Dale's own tool was a nice touch, but...
Luke bent down and picked up the dick. Warmth pulsed through his palm and fingers. Way too realistic. It was EXACTLY like Dale's dick. Seven and a half inches long, clean shaven, uncut. Just drooling pre over his hand.
Luke's blood ran cold. "No fucking way..." he said to himself, almost paralyzed, then, with a jolt of fear, he dropped Dale back on his clothes and took out his phone. His fingers shook when he brought up the weird chain email message from earlier.
"Attention, if you do not follow those instructions exactly, you will find yourself cursed to turn into your dick in fifteen minutes," he read quickly, his voice shaking a bit. He glanced down at his watch and noticed it had been about twelve minutes since he'd gotten home. He didn't have a second to lose!
"1- You must first select 'reply to' and choose a minimum of three guys you wouldn't mind if they were turned into dicks. Then write down their names at the end of this email."
Fuck. Luke started to curse as he scrolled down the screen and started typing the first three names that came to mind. Rodrick. Yvan. Joe. Then, almost abusing his poor touchschreen, he rolled back up and looked at his watch again. Maybe two minutes and a half left...
"2- Add the address of a guy you personally think IS a dick, and that mentally, there would be no difference if they were transformed. Write down his name at the bottom of this email."
Oh, *that* wasn't a hard one. Collin Thunderbecker. His absolute dickhead of a neighbor. Always played music and games late into the night despite the landlord's repeated warnings. Yeah, he still had that address saved from his last complaint. Who know that would come in handy?
"3- Take out one address of from your list."
Growling, he swiped up and clicked on Collin's address by accident. Fuck! Fuck! He hadn't meant to erase *him*. Shit, no time. Carry on!
"4- Write down your cock's measurements. Disregard instruction 2."
He almost hesitated. Normally, he wouldn't dare send those numbers to his friends, less alone Collin. Heck, he was pretty sure they were all straight, except maybe Joe. Still, the risks were too great. He couldn't stop now!
Nine inches long, six inches girth, cut. He didn't know if they wanted more detail, but he had no time. Wait, no. He had already erased Collin's address so he could skip and save a couple of seconds!
"5- Do you think the people that receive this email should be considered nothing more than penises for the rest of their existences? Write down 'No' if you disagree with the idea that men should only listen to their dickheads. Write down 'Yes' if you believe your dick is above average. Write down 'maybe' if cocks should be considered toys rather than people."
What the hell? He, damn it, less than a minute! 'Yes,' he typed. Whatever, big dick, good. Just one more number.
"6- Send this email to four different men."
Okay. Okay, he was good, he could just, NO, fuck! He had erased an adress, so he was back down to three. Fuckers who made this thing wanted to trick people. What the hell? With a hateful flourish, he added Collin's address *again* ! Thirty seconds left. No time to reread. He scrolled up and pressed 'send'.
The page didn't change for a second, making Luke lose an heartbeat, before it changed to the loading screen, and Luke's anger just about exploded.
"You piece of shit phone!"
Glaring at his watch, he willed the seconds to go down slower, as his phone's internet connection struggled to pick up and the homepage wouldn't refresh and acknowledge the sent email. He swore, if his future all came down to the speed of his internet provider...
Ten seconds...
Five seconds....
The page loaded. "YES!" Luke shouted, jumping up with sheer relief.
Then, his phone screen turned entirely white, and flashed him with the camera mode. The light was so blindingly jarring that he only noticed a second later that he was falling. Somehow. Black drapes floated down around him, obscuring everything from view but the faintest marine blue fabric. His couch's cushions.
He landed almost painfully on his balls, who he suddenly noticed took the place of his legs. He didn't need to try to move the arms he no longer had to realize what had happened. Everything around him felt gigantic. He almost didn't recognize his own apartment.
His shirt, buttons and all slid off him in a jarring scrape that almost made him wince in pain, but it did send him skidding across the cushion, to rest unmoving on the edge of the cushion, in front of a penis that looked almost as big as him. His clothes landed on the floor, and they were so far from his perspective that he could almost feel vertigo from the height.
NononononononoNO! HOW?! What had he - The name! He'd forgotten to erase Collin's name from the email when it said to disregard number two on the list, not just the address! He... He couldn't believe it. Such a dumb, little mistake.
And he'd been reduced to a cock on his couch, landing right next in front of his boyfriend. Both of them stuck, unable to move. Just dicks, inches away from each other, with nothing to look at except another dick. He... fuck... Dale still made a fun cock though. And his poor boyfriend had been stuck this way for an hour on his own. Damn. No wonder he'd dripped. Now Luke regretted not using his time to lick that red, perky head, to run his tongue over the length of Dale's shaft and follow the curve of that one thick vein on his left side.
With a needy whimper, Luke twitched and grew stiffer, longer. He was almost touching Dale, and the sight must have been as great for him as it was for Luke, because pre splashed on Luke's 'face'.
"Dale," he wanted to say, "it's okay. We're together. That's fine. Maybe... maybe the landlord or your brother will show up? Hey, maybe this will only last an hour! Who knows? We're okay. We're just dicks, but we're together."
It didn't seem nearly that big of a deal when he was stuck with his lover, barely close enough to touch when they were both at their hardest. When they could twitch just right and brush against his foreskin. Pull it back from sheer arousal.
Hell, maybe one of his email's victim would check on them, ask them what the big deal had been. Maybe... Else, they could only live the rest of their lives as cocks.